No Lego Calendar This Year

I’m not opening a Lego Advent calendar this year. I feel bad about it. The Lego Advent Calendar and subsequent blog have become one of my favorite Christmas traditions. However, it’s not happening this year for a variety of reasons which I have listed below because this is the internet.

I’m Busy – I have freelance and consulting projects that require focus and lots of emails, conference calls, video chats, radio transmissions and coded notes delivered by hawks. And training those hawks to talk is so much trouble I’m not even sure it’s worth it.

The Calendars Are Bad – I looked at this year’s offerings of Lego Advent Calendars, and they all seem so very, very meh. Even the new Harry Potter calendar seems lackluster. By not buying the calendar, I’m voting with my dollars and sending a message to Lego that we demand higher quality toy calendars filled with imagination and creativity instead of yet another snowmobile and pathetic excuse for a table. Come on, Lego! Give us something new!

I’m Not Feeling It – Am I being a Scrooge? Yes. But it’s better to take a year off than to blog my way through the month with a sour puss on my face. I don’t want to do something in my free time out of a heavy sense of obligation. I want to do it out of a heavy sense of wonderment. Or for cash. Or for gems.

Christmas isn’t ruined. It’s just different.

I still plan to do some fun stuff on this fancy webnet during the next month. Might try some recipes. Invent some cocktails. Steep some herbal teas. I have no real plan, but I plan to have a plan. And that’s the first step to planning!

And if you haven’t read the old Lego Advent blogs, get comfy and enjoy 9 years worth of drama, excitement, joy, horror and one instance of nudity.

Year One
Year Two
Year Three – The bad time.
Year Four
Year Five
Year Six
Year Seven – Playmobil a’hoy!
Year Eight
Year Nine

Happy Holidays!

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 23

I’m not making gingerbread men. It’s not happening. The sooner we all come to terms with this, the better our holiday will be.

I am sorry.

I hope you appreciate my honesty. I could have lied and said I baked dozens of gorgeous gingerbread men and used a stolen photo from Pinterest as my proof. But with Santa watching, this is not a good time to lie.

Because I told the truth, in a very real way, I am a hero of Christmas.

And speaking of Christmas Heroes, let’s see what’s in the Lego Calendar Today! It’s… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 22

There is no sense making you wait through a bunch of dumb introductory words to get to today’s fantastic, awe-inspiring item.

To stall any longer would be a cruel punishment reserved for only the naughtiest humans.

You need to see this prize now.

Take a breath and witness the highlight of the calendar.

Today’s item is… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 21

I got through Death Mountain in Zelda 2. It was hell. It was pure hell.

The maze of caves and enemies seemed impossible. As soon as I reached the other side of the mountain, I would be easily killed by a random enemy and had to do the entire maze ALL OVER AGAIN!

And then, your reward for getting to the other side is ANOTHER cave you must fight through to get the hammer. And if you die in there, you have to go ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE BEGINNING! Just for a dumb-ass hammer!

But, it is now the longest and darkest night of the year and it’s only fitting to spend it playing the longest and darkest game of all time.

Keep in mind, getting through Death Mountain leads you to the third palace. The third one. I’m only on the third “level” of this nightmare. There are six palaces in all. If I make it through this, I should win a car.

Speaking of prizes, in today’s Lego Calendar we find… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Twenty

We’re in the home stretch now, with just a few more days until it all comes crashing down on our heads like a shower of rocks.

Am I stressed? I don’t have time to answer that.

Am I worried about getting everything done? Please stop asking questions.

Will I ever finish Blogging Harry Potter? Come on, man. You know that’s not gonna happen due to corporate entities owning…ugh. Whatever. Don’t have time to get into this now. I love you, but I need to plow through this fast and get to the stores and try not to start a kick-fight with my lovely fellow shoppers.

Today we get… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Nineteen

I saw Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse last night. It’s a pop-art dreamscape filled with originality, creativity, joy and wonder. It’s unlike any movie I’ve ever seen.

I liked it very much.

It took my brain a few minutes to adjust to what I was seeing, but soon everything clicked and I had a great time. See this movie!

Nic Cage has a small role as Spider-Man Noir. He also stars in Mandy, released earlier this year. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Mandy are two of the most spectacular psychedelic mind-trips you can take without drugs. And if you watch them back-to-back, your body will turn into crystal and your soul will ignite the planet.

Please note: These two movies exist on opposite ends of the “Friendly” spectrum. Spider-Man is a happy, fun movie. Mandy is a gory, over-the-top psycho horror show, and not something you should watch with the family this holiday season. (It’s best watched alone, in your room, with the lights out and nothing but your own sanity to keep you company.) But both films push the envelope of what human eyeballs can handle. And Nic Cage is in both. And I love him for that.

I’ll spend most of this week thinking about different types of Spider-Men and Spider-Women and Spider-Robots. But I will take a break from such scholarly pursuits to open the Lego Calendar! Today we find… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Seventeen

Is the singer of “The 12 Days of Christmas” bragging, or is he/she being sarcastic?

Does the person really dig all those birds and drummers? Or is it more like, “You gotta hear this, man! My girl is crazy! I’m here, like: How about a skateboard? And she’s all like…BAM….take these turtle doves. Crazy, right?”

What if the song is one big stand-up routine?

Moving on to the world of Lego, today we find… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Sixteen

I just saw a report on CBS Sunday Morning about Lego attempting to switch from oil-based plastic to more sustainable alternatives, like plant materials.

If successful, future Lego Calendars could be sold as salad!

And what a delicious salad this year’s calendar is. It’s turning out to be one of the better toy calendars I’ve opened.

Will that continue as we enter the final week?

Let’s see! Today we get… Continue reading