Opening the Lego Advent Calendar is among the greatest holiday traditions, and belongs right up there with tree decorating, cooking baking, and listening to awful music. To those new to the Lego Advent Calendar, click here to experience the past two years of fun.
The Lego Advent Calendar is box of cardboard doors that countdown to Christmas Eve, and behind each day’s door is a Lego item. Sometimes you get something stupid like a Lego bed, but sometime (well, just once really) you get a Naked Shower Santa Claus. And when you get a Naked Shower Santa Claus, all is right in the world.
But things are different this year. Very different. While 2010’s Lego Calendar was perhaps the greatest thing humans have ever created (thanks to Naked Show Santa, jetpack werewolf, and the wide variety of goodies), last year’s calendar was a little lackluster as multiple days were wasted building Lego walls for the kinda-cool-but-not-really Lego Police Station.
With that in mind, looking at box for the 2012 Lego City Advent Calendar, I was somewhat disappointed. First, Lego is now showing waaaay too much on the box. The fun of these calendars is never knowing what you’ll get. If the box were just decorated with a big red question mark, I would have bought it instantly. Instead, I looked at the box, saw that this year’s theme was a fire department, and shrugged. Sure, Lego Fire is cool, and having a Lego Fire Dept. would be pretty badass, but this year I want something a bit more unusual. A bit more fun. A bit worthier of 1,000-word blog posts.
So I left the 2012 Lego City Advent Calendar on the shelf.
WAIT! Don’t leave. There is indeed a Lego Advent Calendar to open! I promise.
You may assume this means I’m opening the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar. Sadly, the Star Wars calendars never seem that interesting and are grossly overpriced. Stores near me are selling them for upwards of $50! That’s ridiculous. There are about $20 worth of Lego in these boxes, and I would pay an extra ten for the Star Wars branding, but $30 is my limit. Besides, once again the box shows off too many items. There are more surprises to be had in a bag of generic Chex Mix than in the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar.
No City Calendar. No Star Wars Calendar.
What else is there?
Pick up and the phone and start calling the cops. Things are about to get downright creepy.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this year I will be opening the….
Lego Friends Advent Calendar!
This year Lego started a new line of toys aimed at girls: Lego Friends.
Everything is pinker, prettier, more girly, and less aggressive. Is the Lego Friends brand wrong? That’s for you and your college essays to decide, but I lean towards yes, this is wrong. Lego are a gender-neutral toy and dipping everything in pink might make a few would-be awesome young girls shy away from buying the Lego Monster Fighters or Lego Superheros sets because they (wrongly) assume the pink one is for girls and that’s what girls have to buy.
But as Ben Franklin said, “Screw that noise!” I am an adult heterosexual man and this year I’m opening up the Lego Friends Advent Calendar because I don’t see gender, only Lego! Surely this new calendar will offer up such silly, stupid items that the Christmas spirit will last all month-long!
If you want your own Lego Friends Advent Calendar, they are sadly not easy to find. I had to order mine from England. But even with shipping costs, the total price was around $33. If this calendar includes nothing but overly-cute Lego kitty cats, it was worth it.
Let’s do this!
It’s a lady.
I think most Lego Calendars start with a person so this was to be expected. I’m naming her Nintendo.
Nintendo is wearing a winter sweater. You’ll also notice Lego Friends figures have bigger, more detailed faces, shoes, and hair. And she kinda has boobs.
If you called the FBI and told them to put me on some sort of creepy list, I wouldn’t blame you.
The Lego Calendars take a few days to really get going, so until then Nintendo will be hanging out by herself.
Oops, she fell on the ice! Hope someone can save her!
Oh God, no.
Day 1 Rating: 6.9 out of 10. Points deducted because I need to save some points in case one of these days offers up a Mrs. Claus. Thanks to the previous calendars, I now own two regular Lego Santas and one Naked Santa, and not a single Mrs. Claus. Come on, Calendar! Don’t disappoint!
See you tomorrow.