2020 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Four

I can’t remember the last time I stepped foot in a mall. And I don’t plan to until everyone is vaccinated. But even before the pandemic, malls were on the decline. The regular malls near me had plenty of closed stores in 2019 and I can’t imagine what 2020 has done to them. I picture some Mad Max situations within these dead malls where the only law is violence and the only currency is fists…and gift cards.

I also live near a big mall, The King of Prussia Mall, which sounds weird but King of Prussia is a real city outside of Philadelphia. I don’t know why it’s called King of Prussia. I’d prefer if it were called The Kingdom of Prussia, because it’s not a person…it’s a place. It’s like calling The North Pole, Queen of Scotland.

Anyway, The King of Prussia Mall is (kinda) the largest mall in the country. It’s easy to get lost inside. There are loops and circles and two Santa Clauses (one near the ritzy, “May I Help You, Sir?” stores, the other in the “Everything Smells Like Fried Soap” section.) This mall is home to the nearest Lego store. It’s where I got Lego pieces to construct the background I used in the first Lego calendar blog.

I miss those little adventures to the BIG mall. There was always a sense of excitement and stress, like an amusement park filled with bees. People were happy, angry, frustrated, friendly, evil, helpful and tired all at the same time. You could spend the entire day people-watching and never see two identical emotions.

I never really thought of the mall much. It’s an experience I took for granted before the pandemic. If the BIG mall survives (and I think out of all the malls, this one will), I’m excited to visit it next year and buy something stupid and a pretzel.

Speaking of stupid. Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading

2020 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Three

Here’s what I don’t understand about The Princess Switch: Switched Again on Netflix: If the lookalike cousin’s plan was to impersonate the princess in order to transfer money to a secret account, and only has a small window of opportunity to do this, and it’s Christmas Eve, then surely any financial transaction conducted that evening wouldn’t be processed for at least 1 business day. And Christmas is NOT a business day. Thus, assuming she can even access the accounts and transfer the money, the funds would not be available for at least 24 hours, probably longer considering it’s a substantial transaction. Maybe as much as ten days! And by then, surely the real Princess would be found, the truth revealed, an international investigation would commence and any iffy transactions would be voided until it all gets sorted.

Also, why doesn’t the Prince realize the Princess was really his wife when he confessed his romantic challenges? Just because she was wearing blue jeans? Is that how he identifies his wife? Via pants?

That’s how toddlers find their mom at the store.

Hopefully this calendar will provide some much needed answers regarding The Princess Switch: Switched Again.

Today’s item is… Continue reading

2020 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Two

The calendar has been wrapped. The secrets and spoilers on the box are now hidden from my hungry eyes. And look at this year’s playmat! (Sorry for the blurry pic. I was too excited to stand still.)

Roads, runways, railways and a helicopter pad?

Gonna be a good month.

Robot Snowman assumed the H stood for Hero. And so he took the spot for himself. Let him have this.

Let’s discover today’s objet d’art!
Continue reading

2020 Lego Advent Calendar: Day One

Hello and welcome to the 10th Lego Advent Calendar Blog!

Ten!

One, Zero!

That’s a lot of Lego. Not really. These calendars are notoriously stingy with pieces. And the word “stingy” looks like it should be pronounced “sting-ee.” Like what a bee is. Sting-y. Whoa-boy, this blog is off the rails already. Sorry. I’m a little rusty. Take it from the top!

Hello! Behold the 10th Lego Advent Calendar!

While this year has been incredibly sting-y, there is still hope. We can still turn it around. How do you end a year filled with fear and tragedy? With tiny specks of plastic. If this doesn’t work, nothing will.

Am I putting too much pressure on the 2020 Lego Advent Calendar? Eh. Not really

Truthfully, I don’t care what’s behind these 24 mysterious cardboard doors of suspense. I just want something to distract me for the next month, something light and airy. Something…clear.

If this is your first time reading my Lego Advent Calendar Blog, you must first be initiated (hazed) into this evil cult by reading the previous 10 years of Lego blogs. That should take you about an hour.

Get started…

Year One
Year Two
Year Three – The bad time.
Year Four
Year Five
Year Six
Year Seven – Playmobil a’hoy!
Year Eight
Year Nine

Now it’s time for the big bad 10th toy calendar of my life! Continue reading

No Lego Calendar This Year

I’m not opening a Lego Advent calendar this year. I feel bad about it. The Lego Advent Calendar and subsequent blog have become one of my favorite Christmas traditions. However, it’s not happening this year for a variety of reasons which I have listed below because this is the internet.

I’m Busy – I have freelance and consulting projects that require focus and lots of emails, conference calls, video chats, radio transmissions and coded notes delivered by hawks. And training those hawks to talk is so much trouble I’m not even sure it’s worth it.

The Calendars Are Bad – I looked at this year’s offerings of Lego Advent Calendars, and they all seem so very, very meh. Even the new Harry Potter calendar seems lackluster. By not buying the calendar, I’m voting with my dollars and sending a message to Lego that we demand higher quality toy calendars filled with imagination and creativity instead of yet another snowmobile and pathetic excuse for a table. Come on, Lego! Give us something new!

I’m Not Feeling It – Am I being a Scrooge? Yes. But it’s better to take a year off than to blog my way through the month with a sour puss on my face. I don’t want to do something in my free time out of a heavy sense of obligation. I want to do it out of a heavy sense of wonderment. Or for cash. Or for gems.

Christmas isn’t ruined. It’s just different.

I still plan to do some fun stuff on this fancy webnet during the next month. Might try some recipes. Invent some cocktails. Steep some herbal teas. I have no real plan, but I plan to have a plan. And that’s the first step to planning!

And if you haven’t read the old Lego Advent blogs, get comfy and enjoy 9 years worth of drama, excitement, joy, horror and one instance of nudity.

Year One
Year Two
Year Three – The bad time.
Year Four
Year Five
Year Six
Year Seven – Playmobil a’hoy!
Year Eight
Year Nine

Happy Holidays!

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 23

I’m not making gingerbread men. It’s not happening. The sooner we all come to terms with this, the better our holiday will be.

I am sorry.

I hope you appreciate my honesty. I could have lied and said I baked dozens of gorgeous gingerbread men and used a stolen photo from Pinterest as my proof. But with Santa watching, this is not a good time to lie.

Because I told the truth, in a very real way, I am a hero of Christmas.

And speaking of Christmas Heroes, let’s see what’s in the Lego Calendar Today! It’s… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 22

There is no sense making you wait through a bunch of dumb introductory words to get to today’s fantastic, awe-inspiring item.

To stall any longer would be a cruel punishment reserved for only the naughtiest humans.

You need to see this prize now.

Take a breath and witness the highlight of the calendar.

Today’s item is… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 21

I got through Death Mountain in Zelda 2. It was hell. It was pure hell.

The maze of caves and enemies seemed impossible. As soon as I reached the other side of the mountain, I would be easily killed by a random enemy and had to do the entire maze ALL OVER AGAIN!

And then, your reward for getting to the other side is ANOTHER cave you must fight through to get the hammer. And if you die in there, you have to go ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE BEGINNING! Just for a dumb-ass hammer!

But, it is now the longest and darkest night of the year and it’s only fitting to spend it playing the longest and darkest game of all time.

Keep in mind, getting through Death Mountain leads you to the third palace. The third one. I’m only on the third “level” of this nightmare. There are six palaces in all. If I make it through this, I should win a car.

Speaking of prizes, in today’s Lego Calendar we find… Continue reading

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Twenty

We’re in the home stretch now, with just a few more days until it all comes crashing down on our heads like a shower of rocks.

Am I stressed? I don’t have time to answer that.

Am I worried about getting everything done? Please stop asking questions.

Will I ever finish Blogging Harry Potter? Come on, man. You know that’s not gonna happen due to corporate entities owning…ugh. Whatever. Don’t have time to get into this now. I love you, but I need to plow through this fast and get to the stores and try not to start a kick-fight with my lovely fellow shoppers.

Today we get… Continue reading