Today’s item is better than I expected. But first, a poem:
Just kidding. There’s no poem. Suckah!
(Or is that the poem? Oooh…)
Today’s item is…
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Lego Advent Calendar: Day 3
Some may argue that Star Wars has nothing to do with Christmas or the Holiday Season. I disagree. While there is no overt mention of Christmas in the trilogies, Star Wars feels Christmas-y. It belongs on that list of other movies/stories that, while having no genuine connection with the holidays, are still associated with December.
These movies include:
The Wizard of Oz
Harry Potter
The Lord of the Rings movies
The Godfather (1 and 2)
And a few of the Pixar films (The Incredibles, Toy Story, Toy Story 2)
Some of these holiday associations are caused because the movie was released around December, and The Godfather saga is all about family…so that might make sense. For whatever reason, I consider these December things. Maybe it’s because of the magic and spectacle. Maybe it’s because these are the things cable channels shove down our eye-throats this month. But Star Wars is a Christmas movie, whereas Raiders of the Lost Ark is a summer movie because it looks warm and makes me thirsty.
And Hoth is the North Pole.
This is not open for debate.
Today’s item is very cool and complicated. Here’s what the parts look like.
With a little Christmas magic and frustration these turn into…
Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar: Day 2
First things first. If you turn yesterday’s item upside down, it looks like a Rocket Ice Skate. There is nothing more Christmas-y than a rocket ice skate. Add “Pair of Rocket Ice Skates” to your wish list if you want to be totally rad, and unquestionably injured in the new year.
Now all I can think about are rocket ice skates.
Though I’m not sure why I’m excited about any type of ice skates. I tried ice skating for the first time last Thanksgiving, hoping beginner’s luck would shine upon me. While I never technically fell, I also never broke past speeds of 0.0005 m.p.h. and my had never left the wall. As such, there’s a good chance I will never don skates, rocket or otherwise, again.
And now today’s item…
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Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar: Day 1!!!
Welcome back!!! This is the 5th anniversary of “Blogging the Lego Advent Calendar” and it’s a time to celebrate, reflect, and bruise fingertips as I try to disconnect misplaced mini Lego pieces. I love the Lego calendar more than all other holiday traditions. The concept is this: Every day until Christmas, you open a cardboard door and behold the Lego thing dwelling inside.
If this is your first time reading this, here’s a handy guide to the previous Lego calendar openings.
Year One – This was a glorious time during which a werewolf was given a jetpack and Santa bathed. This calendar was, and will always be, my favorite.
Year Two – A nice assortment of pieces. Some were ho-hum, some were ho-okay, and some were ho-yay.
Year Three – A month spent eating rusty staples would have been a better experience. If you want to see true anger (and an expletive) relive the horror of the Lego Friends Advent Calendar.
Year Four – Wonderful! Last year’s calendar was a fantastic surprise. Nearly every day was great, and then an astronaut showed up and I cried. This was Christmas Joy in the form of plastic bricks.
Which brings us to…
The Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar!!!!
For the fifth anniversary of my first opening, I’m changing things up. Lego puts out three advent calendars in America: The traditional Lego City calendar (which I’ve opened 3 times), the Lego Friends calendar (which is worse than a mouthful of spiders), and the Star Wars calendar.
Last month I briefly looked at the box of the City calendar (you should NEVER look at the box, as there are too many secrets revealed, but I’m a pro so I know exactly when to avert my eyes). The box looked like a retread of previous Lego calendars. More cops? More robbers? Eh…I’m tired of Lego assuming the holidays are associated with crime and punishment.
That left two options, and since I’ll never open a Lego Friends calendar again, I went with the Star Wars calendar.
This means my chance of getting a Lego Mrs. Claus has dwindled to 3%. I can still hope, but I’ve seen the Star Wars movies and I don’t remember Mrs. Claus ever showing up — unless she’s hiding in the back of Jaba’s palace. Hmm.
On the plus side, this means no more Lego cops and burglars which means I can avoid making any broad statement on current social issues surrounding law enforcement.
I was told on Facebook that Lego Mrs. Claus does exist, but only in a $70 Lego Set. As much as I’d like a Mrs. Claus, I can’t justify spending over half-a-hundred dollars for her.
To ensure it will be as much a surprise as possible, my amazing girlfriend once again wrapped the box up to hide the front and back cover. She also placed a bit of wrapping paper over one of the doors because she said it revealed something “cool.” I appreciate that.
And what lies behind the first door??
Nail Polish Names (an artist’s interpretation)
The people who name nail polish colors are a creative group. The evocative titles don’t always clearly explain the color. When looking at some of the names, these are the images that spring to my mind. These are real names. Try to guess the color. (I’ll be adding to this as much as a can.)
Suzi Loves Cowboys (available here)
More after the jump…
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Power Pencils Launch!
My brand new business and brand new website for my brand new line of products has launched!
These are magical pencils that are loaded with super powers. There will be a new pencil with a new power every month. The wooden pencils ar etched with magical markings and words. They are fantastic!
The first pencil is the Pencil of Desire. Whatever you write with this pencil will come true!
Next month’s Power Pencil will have it’s own design and power. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but it’s going to be awesome.
PowerPencils.com took about a year to get off the ground. The original idea went through many, many stages and it was six months before I finally figured out how to make the actual pencils. Then it took a whole bunch of months fine-tuning that process. I learned so much about all kinds of things! And now I’m ready to make magic pencils!
I’m so excited about this! And the Pencil of Desire is literally and figuratively just the beginning! As I continue to master the art of making fun products, I’ll be releasing more and more stuff!
Laser Farm will continue to operate as my main, personal webzone. And it’s here that you’ll find the usually wonderfulness and Lego Advent Calendar blogs. But now I have two websites! And one of those websites sells magic pencils!!!
Thank you! Now go enchant your words!
Love,
Dan
12 Mind-Melting Optical Illusions You Will Not Believe!
Take a deep breath and dive into these eye tricks and treats!
1. The Gentleman Sparrow
Stare at these dots for one minute without blinking. Then stare at the back of your hand for three minutes, blinking rapidly. An image of a sparrow in a top hat will appear after three minutes. (Room must be silent.)
2. The Ants Dance
Look at the ants in the image above. Unfocus your eyes and slowly move your head towards the red dot in the center. As your nose reaches the dot, the ants will begin to wiggle and move and finally the ants will appear to spell out a very unusual word. It may take a few attempts. Never give up!
3. Chatty Arthur
By looking at this image through a paper towel roll, keeping both eyes open (left eye looking through the roll at the spiral, right eye looking straight ahead at Arthur), you will notice the man appears to be moving his mouth!
4. The Nag and The Hag
Can you spot the evil old woman hiding in this drawing of a horse? Try looking at it from the corner of your eye.
5. The Color Conundrum
Your perception of color changes with age. Stare at the box below.
If you are younger than 18 years old, you will see green dots on a red background.
If you are between the ages of 18 and 45, you will see green dots on a blue background.
If you are over the age of 45, you will yellow dots on a green background.
6. The Red Ghost
First, look at something bright red. (Pink will not work.) Now hold your two index fingers in front of your face so that the fingers are barely touching and you can still see the red item in the background. With fingers in the air, look at the red item for about thirty seconds. Now close your eyes as hard as possible. Did you feel that? Pretty crazy, right?!
7. Celebrity Zebra
Stare at the zebra stripes for one minute. Now stare at something blue. The face of Johnny Depp should appear.
8. Triangle Trouble
How many triangles do you see in this image? The answer might surprise you!
9. Rocket Tilt
By tilting your head 90-degrees and looking at these three tiny rockets, you should suddenly feel weightless and will be unable to use your feet. This is due to an early human fear response.
10. The Monkey Cage
You can put the monkey in the cage by staring at the star for ninety seconds and then staring indirectly at a mirror for two minutes. The images will slowly combine.
11. Three Shades of Gray
One of these color boxes is actually red. Can you tell which one?
12. George Clooney’s Secret
If you hold George Clooney’s autograph up to a mirror, you’ll find a secret, erotic message!
Lego Advent Calendar: Day 24! The Grand Finale!
Santa! Today’s item is Santa!
He has a different beard and hat than the other Santas. His hat even came in its own tiny bag, which makes me think of some magical land where, instead of dealing baggies of drugs, criminals deal bags of Santa caps. Continue reading
Lego Advent Calendar: Day 23
It’s Christmas Eve Eve! Today is the perfect day to read my short story, What If Nothing Happens This Christmas.
There are only 2 items left in this calendar. One of them is Santa. Santa will pop out of the calendar tomorrow. That’s a sure thing.
As such, if I’m going to get a Mrs. Claus in this calendar, today is the day.
Will she appear? (Hint: No.)
Today’s item is… Continue reading
Lego Advent Calendar: Day 22
Three days. That’s all we have left. Three. After today, we’ve got two days. Then one. Then none. Then tears.
Will this calendar continue to impress during these final 72 hours?
Short answer: Of course.
Long answer, keep reading. Today’s item is… Continue reading