Santa! Today’s item is Santa!
He has a different beard and hat than the other Santas. His hat even came in its own tiny bag, which makes me think of some magical land where, instead of dealing baggies of drugs, criminals deal bags of Santa caps.
He’s terrific. He has a bag and his shirt is printed with a real Santa outfit.
As you probably know, this is my fourth Lego Santa Claus.
The first two arrived in the 2010 Calendar. (One of them was naked for reasons I never want explained.)
The second year’s Santa came with an over-the-shoulder sack and snappy grey pants. And a fireplace.
Last year’s Lego Friends calendar didn’t come with any Santa because that calendar was an eater of joy.
I still prefer Naked Shower Santa, but this year’s Santa is my new favorite clothed Santa! Another big win for the 2013 calendar!
He also has an extra beard. Mickey, who has been drinking, ditched his beloved neckerchief for the beard, while saying, “Santa, how your elfs make gift cards? You have, like, a deal with them stores? Is it computered?” I think I know what he’s talking about.
After revealing today’s item, I unwrapped the box to see what it looked like. It’s a good thing my girlfriend wrapped the box. The box ruins Christmas!
Then I ripped open the box and took a picture of what the inside of all the doors looks like.
As part of the tradition, it’s time to rank the items from worst to awe-inspiring! (This is not the order they arrived in!) Here’s what this calendar offered:
24. The Bench
Had the bench arrived in last year’s calendar, it had potential to crack the top five best items. But that’s because last year’s calendar was ass-awful. Compared to the other items in this year’s calendar, the bench is clearly the worst. I apologize to all bench enthusiasts. The only upside is that the calendar did not include a second bench, and so Christmas was saved!
23. The Table
The bench’s big brother had more peices, so it gets a higher spot.
22. The Lego Presents
Yes, they’re cheery and filled with holiday spirit (and hopefully Xboxes!), but they arrived the day after I received a certain astronaut. Like getting two M&Ms after eating a big slice of Snicker pie, how could they ever compare?
21. Tires and a Thing
They were essential to building the car, and then the carrot cannon, but when I first opened it up, I was confused and mildly disappointed.
20. The Grill
It had an extra sausage! And fire! It’s a great little grill and would have scored higher if I hadn’t forgot about it until just now as I’m writing the list.
19. The Fireplace
Its sturdy chimney is reason enough for the fireplace to beat out the grill on this list. Plus, I love the photo of Mickey trying to find Santa.
18. The Toy Boat
Say “toy boat” eight times in a row. Ha…you’re a victim of peer pressure. The boat is okay, but doesn’t fly.
17. The Remote Controlled Jets
They’re similar to the boat, except they’re one entire point better.
16. The Sled With Mini-Gifts
I liked that it was made of roughly a million pieces. And the mini-gifts are fun and easy to swallow!
15. The Weapon Barrel
A barrel of weapons? Yes. It’s a barrel of weapons.
14. The Kid (a.k.a. Levi Hasslefrassle)
He seemed too entitled, perhaps even spoiled. But damn, his shirt was killer!
13. The Christmas Tree
It only ranks this high on the list because it’s almost Christmas. And it had a red skirt!
12. The Race Car Driver (a.k.a. Zeus Butterfly)
I like Zeus, but part of me feels he’d rather be in a different calendar, one with more danger and ladies. And I’m still not sure what his bonus item is.
11. The Rest of the Car
It’s fast! Perhaps too fast?
10. Becky the Dog
Becks was already a great dog, but when I added her star-powered jetpack, she became less a pet than a goddess. That’s how and why she landed in the top ten.
9. Super Snowman
He’s less aggressive than Robot Snowman and not as adorable as Baby Robot Snowgirl, but I admire Super Snowman for his politeness and good character. I wish him and Trudy all the luck in the world!
8. The Toy Truck (With Robot Arm and Guns!)
The truck is cool, the bonus gun is cooler, and the robot arm is coolest. It’s one hell of a present.
7. Food and Glasses. (a.k.a. The Omega Trophy!)
“When life gives you food accessories, you turn them into Omega Trophies!” – Dan Bergstein
6. Santa!
He has a new beard and a fancy bagged hat!
5 and 4 (It’s a Tie!). The Police Officer (a.k.a. Mickey “Two Mugs” Duck) and The Burglar (a.k.a. Donald Mouse)
They have been drinking.
3. Trudy Tinsel Evergreen (a.k.a. The Official Sausage Girl!)
Now that I finally have a genuine Sausage Girl, my quest for the elusive Mrs. Claus shall…OMG. What if Trudy is Mrs. Claus? No…that’s just silly fanfiction. Stop it.
2. The Train
Why did this train end up so high on the list? The reasons: It’s fun. It has many pieces. Some of the pieces are clear. It has fluffy smoke. It’s adorable. It’s Christmasy. It’s easy to understand what it is. It’s perfect. It’s mine!
1. Jetpack Astronaut with Star Wands (a.k.a. Arthur Tiptop)
There are no words, only feelings.
Like cookie ingredients, when all the items are shoved together, they become something powerful!
This calendar has been more fun than I expected. Even the lowest of the lows were still pretty high. As of this writing, I prefer this calendar to my very first Lego calendar. I can’t believe I would even think that, but it’s true. Could next year’s calendar be even better? Wait in front of your computer for 11 months and find out!
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Magical New Year!!!