First, Gingerbread Twix aren’t very good. Twix are one of my favorite candies, and the thought of a holiday-themed Twix led me to tears and sweat of joy.

Then I ate one. Then two. I’ve now eaten about eight of these “fun-sized” treats and it has lead me to this conclusion: They aren’t good.

They’re not terrible – they have the same consistency of a normal Twix – but the flavor is…off. It’s a little spicy, meaning “spicy nutmeggy,” not “spicy hot.” The taste is too artificial and forced, as if Mr. Twix used chemicals to make them, instead of using holiday cheer and song. After taking a bite, my reaction is always, “Damn. I wish this was a regular Twix.”

Buyers beware.

We’re halfway through the calendar! Judging by the first twelve days, this calendar is wonderful, and I continue to fear what’s waiting in the second half of December.

Today’s item is….

The Christmas Tree!

Oh, Christmas tree. (Said condescendingly, not in the sing-song way.)

There’s always a Christmas tree. Even last year’s devil-fart of a calendar had a Christmas tree.

This year’s tree comes with a tree skirt. I can’t remember if this is the first time the tree has a tree skirt. I think it is. If so, yay! LEGO TREE SKIRT!

The trees never vary in their construction. After building the same tree for four years, I know what I’m doing. I can erect a tree with my eyes closed. (And that sentence was a gift to all of you with dirty minds! You’re welcome!)

There’s something missing from this tree. Can you spot it?

A top. It doesn’t have a top. I’ve erected a topless tree. (That sentence is a confused, sexy bonus. You’re welcome!)

I could place one of the extra “lights” on the top of the tree, but that would be cheating. There is clearly no light on the tree in the diagram. Besides, I think my Lego people can come up with something better.

Trudy suggested putting a sausage on the tree top.

Super Snowman (who is no longer melted) suggested they place a neckerchief or a red light on the top.

Mickey, who has been drinking, sat down and said, “Hahaha…he erected it with his eyes closed!”

And then Donald, who has been drinking, climbed the tree to make sure there wasn’t a hidden star or angel.

Filled with the Christmas spirit and spirits, Mickey offered to top the tree with his Omega Trophy.

It wasn’t easy.

Once on the trophy, Mickey and Donald were stuck, so Trudy and Super Snowman came to the rescue.

The Omega Trophy makes for an interesting, albeit unorthodox, Christmas tree topper. I myself use a tiny Santa hat on my tree, because I’m a shade of radical not found in any box of crayons.

Today’s Rating: 3.002 out of 5 (Points deducted for its lack of top and because Lego could come up with a new tree design.)

See you tomorrow!