The Lego Calendar has been kind to us so far, which means it will soon fart out some nonsense that will send me into a rage of disappointment. Could that happen today? Probably. Five days in means the sucky-suck item must be near.

I’m mentally and physically prepared. I’m ready for whatever the Lego elves placed behind door #5.

Let’s rip this open…

It’s…A WEAPON BARREL!

An entire barrel of weapons!

It comes with handcuffs (two pair!), an ax and a bright red Christmas crowbar!

This is the opposite of disappointment. It’s yay-appointment. (Or whatever the opposite prefix of “dis” would be. Someone look that up, please? Thanks!)

Do you know what you can do with a barrel of weapons? Anything! You can do ANYTHING! And nothing can defeat you. Why would an enemy attack one who is armed with a barrel of weapons? That’s like picking a fight with 3 p.m. hunger. Hunger always wins.

Mickey Two Mugs, who has been drinking, decided it would be fun to handcuff Super Snowman.

Super Snowman, being a superhero of unbridled strength, quickly busted free of the cuffs.

Then he tossed Mickey into the barrel. Mickey didn’t seem to mind (he has been drinking) and giggled while saying, “This is more fun than a barrel of Mickeys!” No one laughed.

Day 5 Rating: An impressive 3.6 out of 5 (Points added because I was ready to be disappointed but was happily appointed. Is that the right prefix? Like “disapprove” and “approve”? Doesn’t sound right. You know what does sound right? “WEAPON BARREL!”)

There’s a handle thing next to the barrel. I don’t know what it does, but Super Snowman is using it practice his flying.

See you tomorrow!