Lego Advent Calendar: Day 4


I was in New York today for a meeting. That’s why today’s post is late. While in New York, I walked past the Lego store in Rockefeller Center. That’s where I saw this….

While everyone else in Rockefeller Center was taking photos of the tree (which is being lit tonight), I took a picture of a bricky Santa. Sadly, he didn’t wave back.

I thought of marching into the Lego store to ask, “Where the hell is the Mrs. Claus in the Advent Calendar?” But the area was too crowded and my throat hurt and I’m shy, and hungry.

On to today’s Lego item! Continue reading

Lego Advent Calendar: Day 3!


I shouldn’t say this because it will jinx, curse, and hex the entire calendar, but so far the 2013 Lego Advent experience has been good, leaning towards great. I love Officer Mickey Duck and his handy, dandy fireplace.

Or maybe I’m just in a good mood because December is only three days old and I’m already filled with Christmas cheer. I decorated yesterday and listened to hours of awful holiday music. Then I watched Rise of the Guardians while eating chocolate-covered pretzels by the fistful.

Rise of the Guardians is only a great holiday movie if you’re in the right mood. Had I seen it under other circumstances (if I were cranky, headachey, tired, bored, busy, somber, jealous, hungry, rubbery, etc.), the movie would have sucked. The story is your basic “Children need to believe” crap, and I’m not even sure I understood the plot. But after listening to a day’s worth of Christmas music, and decorating so hard I built up a sweat, Rise of the Guardians was a great way to end the night. And it’s beautiful to look at. Even if you hate the story, mute the entire movie and let it play in the background.

Sorry for the movie review tangent.

Lego time! What’s behind today’s door? Continue reading

Lego Advent Calendar: Day 2


I love Christmas music, but I hate when an artist takes a slow Christmas song and tries to make it sound even sadder and more dramatic by decreasing the already melancholy tempo. I’m surprised there isn’t a 20-minute version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” I would link to an example, but I’m too happy to hunt down sad Christmas cover songs. When you hear one on the radio, you can stop and say, “Ah! That’s what Dan meant! I shall tell him immediately!”

Today’s Lego item is pretty great. It’s something we’ve seen before, but it’s a necessary part of the Santa Mythos. As such, I welcome it with open arms! Continue reading

2013 Lego Advent Calendar: Day One!!!!

The Lego Advent Calendar is the best thing to happen to Christmas since magic silk hats and lords a leapin’. The calendar is a simple device of 24 cardboard doors that countdown the days until Christmas. Behind each door dwells a Lego thing. You open the door, build the tiny Lego thing, and then write thousand-word articles about it. It’s an official tradition in my house.

This is my fourth year opening the Lego calendar. The first calendar I opened back in 2010 made that holiday season among the best I’ve experienced. It gave me Naked Shower Santa, a gift I shall never be able to reciprocate. On my death bed, at the age of 133, listen close and you will hear me whisper, “Naked…shower…Santa.” (But watch out, because when I’m 133, I will also have a cyborg arm that will never die, and may try to punch you for getting too close to my face.)

The following year, I was disappointed that my second Lego calendar went a much more traditional route. It offered some quality Lego pieces, but its lack of bathing Santa left me with a feeling of emptiness. I also really wanted a Mrs. Claus.

Last year’s calendar was a nightmare. The Lego Friends Calendar was a joyless experience that not even fire could fix. It also did not contain a Mrs. Claus. Ugh. Just thinking about last December makes my heart hurt.

It should be noted that last December was a rough one for me both physically and emotionally. I was dealing with a hellish commute (five hours, round trip, every day) and working for a company that crushed my soul. I should have been happy. I had a Lego calendar and a job I thought would be a dream gig. But both ended horribly. On top of that, my 2012 was punctuated with a cold/flu so brutal that eleven months later, I’m still worried that by discussing the illness, this very sentence is contagious. Please wash your hands and eyes after reading.

If last December was wretched, that means this December will be AMAZING! That’s just scientific math facts.

This year I went with the traditional Lego City Advent Calendar because the Lego Friends Calendar was such a disaster. I also took some (drastic?) measures to ensure each item will be a surprise.

The Lego marketing company must not know what a “surprise” is because anyone who carefully looks at the advent calendar’s box art can pick out at least a dozen of the so-called “surprise” Lego items inside. These items are meant to be a secret until the day you open the door! Lego is ruining everything! DON’T SHOW ME WHAT I’M GETTING!

If Lego were making movie posters, the poster for the Sixth Sense would feature a tombstone for the Bruce Willis character. And I would still go see it, because a Lego Sixth Sense movie sounds rather interesting.

To prevent my peeking eyes from ruining Christmas, my wonderful girlfriend wrapped the outside pictures on the box. If you’re opening the calendar this year, I recommend you ask, or hire, someone you trust to do the same. Hiding the box art will make for a more exciting holiday season.

Plus it’s fun to have a wrapped present in your room all month long. Feels festive!

Enough intro! Let’s now take a deep holiday breath, cross our fingers, say a Lego prayer and open the first door!!!!! Continue reading

Lego Calendar: Day 24! The Grand Finale!

It’s the last day of the Lego Friends Advent Calendar and I couldn’t be happier. Not only does today mean the calendar will now die a forgettable death and we can move on to happier things, but today my chances of finally getting a Lego Mrs. Claus have never been higher.

The 24th Day of the Lego Calendars always bring forth Santa Claus! Always! Since this calendar is lady-specific, it would be an absolute delight if Mrs. Claus came galloping out to give us all the Christmas Spirit and a cookie!

Yep. Today is going to be good. I can feel it. I can taste the Christmas-y goodness!

Click on to see the last item and the final countdown of all the items!

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Lego Advent Calendar: Day 23

I own a Lego Werewolf. No big deal. It’s just a werewolf in Lego form. It’s pretty much the best thing, but I’m not bragging. I just want you to know that I own a Lego Werewolf and he is not part of the Lego Friends Advent Calendar.

I only mention this because I need to (illegally?) incorporate Lego Werewolf into this wintery scene in order to salvage some fun from the the truly terrible Lego Friends Advent Calendar.

Today’s item is just as wonderful as the other items I’ve received. You’ll notice there are no exclamation points in that previous sentence. That’s not a typo.

What did I get? Find out! (Or just go watch some YouTube videos of puppies, because that would be a better use of our time.)

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Lego Advent Calendar: Day 22

The very worst part about wrapping presents, besides the time it takes, the accidental ripping, the wrinkly folding, the misjudged size of paper and subsequent hackneyed addition of tiny bits of paper to cover the gaping holes, and your only roll of tape that always vanishes, is that it’s all for the purposes of being destroyed.

And not destroyed in a good way, like the way your mouth destroys a sandwich. The wrapping paper is destroyed and turned into garbage faster than you can say, “I kept the receipt if it doesn’t fit.”

I’m not saying we should stop wrapping presents; a wrapped present is always better than an unwrapped gift. I just want someone else to do it for me.

Anyway, today’s Lego item is a Christmas Tree. (Spoiler Alert)

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Lego Advent Calendar: Day 21

Happy Solstice! I’m about to wrap presents, but before I do, why not disappoint myself with the Lego Friends Advent Calendar?

It doesn’t matter what I get today. Things are going to get so busy in the next 80 hours or so that I’ll barely have time to whine about Lego garbage.

We’re days away from the end of this calendar! And then we’re just 11 months away from next year’s much better Lego Advent Calendar.

Click on to see what today offered…

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Lego Advent Calendar: Day 20

There is no hope for the Lego Friends Advent Calendar. Nothing can save it. Today could spit out a Lego jetpack and a real, live puppy and I would still blame the calendar for ruining my entire holiday.

Yesterday’s item was the worse thing anyone has ever received. The purse was so small and awful that I’m certain it was actually a virus.

This calendar is for girls, and while I’ve never been a girl, I can’t imagine any young lass feeling happy about this product. It’s terrible. It’s bad. It’s terri-bad.

But let’s keep going, if only for the sake of tradition. I’m assuming today’s item will be a Lego cavity. What do you think is behind the 20th door?

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Lego Advent Calendar: Day 19

The Friends Lego Advent Calendar is a lot like the Twilight series; at first it’s just disappointing, and then it gets worse and worse until you reach a point where you say, “That’s as bad as it can get.” And then men date babies and you give up.

Today’s item is the Renesmee of Lego items.

It isn’t even worthy of this lengthy intro. Judging by it’s size and weight, the item should only be reviewed via the second half of a haiku. But I’ve already written this much and the delete button is too far away. So these words stay. As does this one: Parachute!

Anyway, what lived behind door #19?

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