It’s the last day of the Lego Friends Advent Calendar and I couldn’t be happier. Not only does today mean the calendar will now die a forgettable death and we can move on to happier things, but today my chances of finally getting a Lego Mrs. Claus have never been higher.
The 24th Day of the Lego Calendars always bring forth Santa Claus! Always! Since this calendar is lady-specific, it would be an absolute delight if Mrs. Claus came galloping out to give us all the Christmas Spirit and a cookie!
Yep. Today is going to be good. I can feel it. I can taste the Christmas-y goodness!
Click on to see the last item and the final countdown of all the items!
It’s….WHAT!!
Ladies, Gentlemen, and every child in the world: There is no Santa Claus.
A severed head and some potions?
That’s what Christmas is all about?
This is the lesson of the Lego Friends Advent Crap-Box.
Also, there is no Sassy Florida. Though this desk could turn someone into Sassy Florida.
It’s a beauty desk of some sort. And it’s sad. Even calling it a Severed Head w/ Potions isn’t making me happy. (Well, maybe a little.)
Nintendo was disappointed. Annie-Ann loved it. She then tried to pass herself off as Sassy Florida, hoping to get all those presents. But it didn’t work because her Dutch accent seemed forced.
Baby Robot Snowgirl thought the severed head was her new sister and started to freak out. Nintendo had to explain things. Baby Robot Snowgirl then tried on a new wig.
So we got some new hair, but since Nintendo looks quite lovely in her Top Hat, there is now extra hair. Who should wear it?
YAY!
There is a Santa!
He’s naked, he’s two years old, and he’s scary!
HI NAKED SHOWER SANTA!
Day 24 Rating: 5 out of 10 (Points added because it’s weird; points deducted because there are Rabbis who are more Christmas-y than this.)
Now let’s recap the crap. In order of worst to almost worst, here are the 24 items in the Lego Friends Advent Calendar.
24. The Purse
I sent this back to the hell from whence it came.
23. Mop and Bucket
It taught me that women love to clean. PINK!
22. Chair w/ Plate
This is the gift you’d give a pen pal who somehow wronged you.
21. Dog Present
I still don’t know what the hell that dog paw thing is meant to represent, besides disappointment.
20. Skis
Writing this countdown is making me angry all over, again.
19. Blue Present
Who is “Sassy Florida?”
Almost as bad as the blue present. Almost.
17. Bag of Crap
They’re easy to lose and taste horrible.
16. Table and Chair
Want to come over and play with the table? Of course you don’t.
15. Blue Sled
No thank you.
The milk is great, but everything else about this screams, “Eh…who cares what kids get for Christmas. Let’s go see Argo!”
13. Dog Bed
At least I got to build something.
12. Pinks Snowmobile
At least it wasn’t a bucket.
He’s adorable, but should have came with more stuff. I still love you, Helicopter!
10. Severed Head w/ Potions
Made better thanks to a twisted mind. Made worse because Santa is nowhere to be found.
I had to use every gram of my imagination meat to make this enjoyable.
8. Green Sled w/ Lattice Cut Side
Love that lattice and not afraid to admit it.
It’s lovely and made lovelier thanks to the Cosmic Starfish on top. He will keep us safe!
Made better after modification.
5. Annie-Ann
Batman needs his Joker, and Nintendo needs her Annie-Ann.
4. Mailbox
This is how every item should be – creative, quirky, unexpected, and hinged.
3. Nintendo
I admire her because she hates the calendar as much as I do.
2. Christmas Street Light
Stare at this and you will be transported to Christmas Land!
1. Baby Robot Snowgirl
She’s the only thing that got me through this calendar. Thank you, BRS. Thank you.
Happy Holidays!
Go eat pie.
