First, have you seen the trailer for the new Mad Max movie? I’m as tired of sequels and reboots as you are, but this looks crazy-great-weird-good.
If you haven’t seen any of the Mad Max movies, finish reading this article, buy some Power Pencils, and then go see The Road Warrior. It’s one of the best action movies, and laughs in the face of crap like The Fast and the Furious 8: Beep Beep.
And now let’s find out what’s hiding in the Lego calendar today…
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I bought Lego Marvel Super Heroes for Xbox 360. It happened on a Cyber Monday when I suddenly felt the urge to play with virtual Lego pieces and this game was on sale for $15. I have never played a Lego game before, but I had heard good things about this one.
And I like Marvel characters more than DC. (Except Batman. If I were the captain of Marvel comics, I would trade Wolverine for Batman. Wolverine is dumb. I don’t like him. Never liked him. He shouldn’t be the centerpiece of any team or movie. He should be a background character, like Boba Fett or Randy from A Christmas Story! No one wants to see a whole movie about Randy. We like Randy in small doses. Wolverine’s story and personality are not as interesting as you think. A book about an angry light-switch would be a more satisfying story than all Wolverine tales put together. He’s stupid. I don’t care about him. Don’t get me Wolverine for Christmas. Whatever. Stupid dumb Wolverine. Batman is cool.)
The game is fun. It’s not the most involved game out there; this isn’t Skyrim. It’s mindless video game stuff that reminds me of playing games on my ol’ Sega Genesis — games like Streets of Rage 2 and Golden Axe. Only now the graphics are amazing, and the dialogue is funny, and YOU CAN BE THE HULK! I like it.
I also like today’s Lego item. I like it enough that I just might scream once it’s revealed…
Today’s item is…
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Last year I wrote a short story about Santa Claus and the joy of worrying. You can read the entire thing by clicking here!
Now let’s journey to a galaxy far, far away… (Bring snacks. It’s a long trip.)
Today’s Lego item is…
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This will be quick because I need to print, cut, and make 70 instruction booklets for Power Pencils.
Every Power Pencil comes with an instruction book that explains the rules, history, etc. of that particular pencil. I love writing/drawing them. I hate putting them together. I’m a one-man operation right now, because my intern vanished in a mystical portal he created via Power Pencils. Let this be a lesson: If you give your intern magic pencils, they will use them to vanish via portals.
Isn’t “via” a weird word? Seems like an unfinished word, as if there’s more to it but we all got lazy. Maybe it’s short for viavavooom! I hope it is.
The point beings: I do all the Power Pencil work myself. For the next 8 hours, I’ll be printing, cutting, stapling, packing, shipping, and listening to awful Christmas music on iTunes Radio, because I’m the only person beside Taylor Swift who doesn’t use Spotify.
And if you still haven’t ordered your set of Power Pencils, or your forgot what Power Pencils are, here’s a rundown of our holiday deals and sets.
Now let’s focus on Star Wars and Christmas!
Today’s item is great. It is…
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It happens rarely, but there are those occasion when I open the Lego Calendar’s door only to be mildly disappointed, and then my opinion spins 180-degrees after I build the object. Today is one of those days. What appears to be just another regular thing, actually is made of many things, and without question, is the most dangerous Lego item I’ve opened, which explains the warning on the inside of today’s door.
Ladies and gentlemen, today’s Lego item is…
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While shopping last night, I had this conversation with my girlfriend.
Me: It’d be cool if they made a thing on the front of a shopping cart that dispenses bubble liquid when you press the trigger. And then when you run, the liquid spreads over the front grill of the cart and makes bubbles.
Girlfriend: But then everything would get sticky and gross.
Me: Well…I don’t know what to tell you.
I drew my design because I’m not sure my explanation was clear.
Calling the patent office on Monday.
Today’s Lego item is…
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If you’re interested in ordering a Personalized Power Pencil (with your name or the name of someone worthy of amazing presents etched into it), the deadline for orders is today! Though I won’t get a chance to etch them until next week, so the REAL deadline is Monday December 8th. But that’s it. If you don’t get your order in by Monday, your holiday will be ruined.
Personalized Power Pencils look like this:
There is still time to order the holiday set of Power Pencils (all 7 Power Pencils plus a carrying case), but supplies are limited and going fast. You can also get the Stocking Stuffer set of 5 Wish Pencils! (Deadline for Christmas orders is December 16th.)
Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell your Grandma who, unless she knows you want magic pencils, will give you another dumb set of smelly crap from Bath and Body Works — which despite smelling lovely cannot grant wishes or summon dragons.
Enough of the self-promotion. Let’s rip open a calendar!
Today’s item is…
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Today’s item is better than I expected. But first, a poem:
Just kidding. There’s no poem. Suckah!
(Or is that the poem? Oooh…)
Today’s item is…
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Some may argue that Star Wars has nothing to do with Christmas or the Holiday Season. I disagree. While there is no overt mention of Christmas in the trilogies, Star Wars feels Christmas-y. It belongs on that list of other movies/stories that, while having no genuine connection with the holidays, are still associated with December.
These movies include:
The Wizard of Oz
Harry Potter
The Lord of the Rings movies
The Godfather (1 and 2)
And a few of the Pixar films (The Incredibles, Toy Story, Toy Story 2)
Some of these holiday associations are caused because the movie was released around December, and The Godfather saga is all about family…so that might make sense. For whatever reason, I consider these December things. Maybe it’s because of the magic and spectacle. Maybe it’s because these are the things cable channels shove down our eye-throats this month. But Star Wars is a Christmas movie, whereas Raiders of the Lost Ark is a summer movie because it looks warm and makes me thirsty.
And Hoth is the North Pole.
This is not open for debate.
Today’s item is very cool and complicated. Here’s what the parts look like.
With a little Christmas magic and frustration these turn into…
First things first. If you turn yesterday’s item upside down, it looks like a Rocket Ice Skate. There is nothing more Christmas-y than a rocket ice skate. Add “Pair of Rocket Ice Skates” to your wish list if you want to be totally rad, and unquestionably injured in the new year.
Now all I can think about are rocket ice skates.
Though I’m not sure why I’m excited about any type of ice skates. I tried ice skating for the first time last Thanksgiving, hoping beginner’s luck would shine upon me. While I never technically fell, I also never broke past speeds of 0.0005 m.p.h. and my had never left the wall. As such, there’s a good chance I will never don skates, rocket or otherwise, again.
And now today’s item…
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