2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Nineteen

Posted on December 19, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

I saw Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse last night. It’s a pop-art dreamscape filled with originality, creativity, joy and wonder. It’s unlike any movie I’ve ever seen.

I liked it very much.

It took my brain a few minutes to adjust to what I was seeing, but soon everything clicked and I had a great time. See this movie!

Nic Cage has a small role as Spider-Man Noir. He also stars in Mandy, released earlier this year. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Mandy are two of the most spectacular psychedelic mind-trips you can take without drugs. And if you watch them back-to-back, your body will turn into crystal and your soul will ignite the planet.

Please note: These two movies exist on opposite ends of the “Friendly” spectrum. Spider-Man is a happy, fun movie. Mandy is a gory, over-the-top psycho horror show, and not something you should watch with the family this holiday season. (It’s best watched alone, in your room, with the lights out and nothing but your own sanity to keep you company.) But both films push the envelope of what human eyeballs can handle. And Nic Cage is in both. And I love him for that.

I’ll spend most of this week thinking about different types of Spider-Men and Spider-Women and Spider-Robots. But I will take a break from such scholarly pursuits to open the Lego Calendar! Today we find… Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Eighteen

Posted on December 18, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

If you want some sweet, sweet Power Pencils, and you need it by Christmas, today is your last day to order!

If you’d rather have a bucket of stale popcorn, I’m sure there are other retailers who can accommodate your sad, pathetic needs.

In today’s calendar, we get… Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Seventeen

Posted on December 17, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

Is the singer of “The 12 Days of Christmas” bragging, or is he/she being sarcastic?

Does the person really dig all those birds and drummers? Or is it more like, “You gotta hear this, man! My girl is crazy! I’m here, like: How about a skateboard? And she’s all like…BAM….take these turtle doves. Crazy, right?”

What if the song is one big stand-up routine?

Moving on to the world of Lego, today we find… Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Sixteen

Posted on December 16, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

I just saw a report on CBS Sunday Morning about Lego attempting to switch from oil-based plastic to more sustainable alternatives, like plant materials.

If successful, future Lego Calendars could be sold as salad!

And what a delicious salad this year’s calendar is. It’s turning out to be one of the better toy calendars I’ve opened.

Will that continue as we enter the final week?

Let’s see! Today we get… Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Fifteen

Posted on December 15, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

Keeping it short today because time is bleeding out of this holiday season and every second counts, particularly on the weekend.

But first, consider this: Candy canes with hooks at BOTH ends to enable long candy cane chains? And a grappling hook-shaped candy cane? That’d be cool!

Please send me a billion dollars for that idea.

You’re welcome!

In today’s calendar, we find… Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Fourteen

Posted on December 14, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

You have to imagine that one day humans will leave Earth and establish civilizations on other planets and space stations. And when that happens, we will need to adjust the Santa mythos to accommodate interplanetary travel, wildly different time-zones and an overall population increase.

That’s what I plan to think about this weekend instead of getting things done. You should too.

What does the calendar offer us today? Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 13

Posted on December 13, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link is too hard.

After defeating the first Zelda, I felt it was time to tackle the NES sequel. I know it’s a different type of game, with side-scrolling action and a weird overworld map to navigate, but I didn’t expect it to be so hard.

It took me most of the night just to get through the first palace and I was crying rage tears the entire time. My teeth are still clenched so tight that the pressure is making diamonds out of my fillings.

I know vintage NES games are tough. I grew up playing them. We were tougher back then, I guess.

Or, more likely, we only had one or two video games to play and so kids worked hard at these games because it was better than homework or sitting around outside naming constellations — the only two other pastimes in the pre-internet 1980s.

I haven’t given up…yet.

My this time tomorrow, I hope to have conquered the second palace. And I want to beat the game by Christmas. Between beating Zelda and making gingerbread men, I’m setting up all sorts of future disappointments this month! Yay!

Yesterday we got an ice cream machine. And today we get… Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Twelve

Posted on December 12, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

My goal this season is to make gingerbread men.

To accomplish this goal, I have told many people that I will make gingerbread men. The first step to baking is to inflate your confidence and get downright cocky about your baking ability. Done!

Now I’m beholden to this promise. People are expecting gingerbread men. And I cannot let them down.

Problem: I have never made gingerbread men, or gingerbread anything. But that means I have beginner’s luck on my side.

I feel good about this.

I don’t yet have the ingredients, or cookie cutters, or icing, or time. And my oven is possessed by a ghost who refuses to let things bake properly. But I won’t let that hold me back. In the coming days, I will let you know how Operation: Enduring Ginger progresses. And if you don’t hear anything else about Operation: Enduring Ginger, assume the mission was a failure as I perform a political cover-up worthy of an Oliver Stone movie.

Side Note: If I’m making cookies for Christmas Eve/Day, when should I bake them? How long can ginger cookies last before going stale? A day? Two days? What if I cover the cookies in wood lacquer? Can you just come over and do it for me?

Spoiler alert: Today’s Lego item is among the best.

It’s… Continue reading →

2018 Lego Advent Calendar: Day Eleven

Posted on December 11, 2018 by Dan Bergstein

Do you have five minutes? Listen to Eric Clapton’s new version of “Jingle Bells.”

It’s beyond terrible.

It has NOTHING to do with Jingle Bells.

You could call this song “Sex Foot” and it would make as much sense.

Did Clapton hit the “demo” button on his Casio keyboard and call it a day?

Sure, there is a very brief “chorus” of someone “singing” “Jingle Bells” but most of this song sounds like music heard over the end credits of a NetFlix movie about a drug deal gone bad.

It’s so awful that I almost love it. Almost.

Well, if guitar legends cashing in on techno-fart holiday music didn’t get you in the Christmas spirit, maybe the Lego calendar can help. Today we get… Continue reading →

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