Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link is too hard.

After defeating the first Zelda, I felt it was time to tackle the NES sequel. I know it’s a different type of game, with side-scrolling action and a weird overworld map to navigate, but I didn’t expect it to be so hard.

It took me most of the night just to get through the first palace and I was crying rage tears the entire time. My teeth are still clenched so tight that the pressure is making diamonds out of my fillings.

I know vintage NES games are tough. I grew up playing them. We were tougher back then, I guess.

Or, more likely, we only had one or two video games to play and so kids worked hard at these games because it was better than homework or sitting around outside naming constellations — the only two other pastimes in the pre-internet 1980s.

I haven’t given up…yet.

My this time tomorrow, I hope to have conquered the second palace. And I want to beat the game by Christmas. Between beating Zelda and making gingerbread men, I’m setting up all sorts of future disappointments this month! Yay!

Yesterday we got an ice cream machine. And today we get…

A Second Ice Cream Cone! (and a girl)

I was complaining about the lack of additional cones yesterday, but I should have trusted the Lego Gods to deliver unto me the objects I most deserve.

I feel better about my life now that two Lego ice cream cones are a part of it.

Oh, and the girl’s name is…um…I dunno…Shirley. She has a shirt. So…Shir…ley.

Back to that cone! Look how big it is! It can’t even fit under the ice cream machine.

Walter the Poet Snowman was curious if Shirley had poetic powers like her mom.

WALTER: I see you dropped your ice cream. Describe that feeling of loss.
SHIRLEY: Sucks!
WALTER: And…how does it suck?
SHIRLEY: [mumbles]
WALTER: Use your words.
SHIRLEY: I dunno. [mumbles something about boys]
VK9000: That ice cream reminds me of a song I just wrote called “Christmas Blues (Regrets of Past).” It goes like this.

’round the fire. Missing you so much.
It’s just not Christmas without you here.
Take the train home. Be home with me.
Make this Christmas…this year.

SHIRLEY: That song was so sad. It felt like you were singing about me and my struggles. Will you help me hang a Snape poster in my room. I’m moody, but in a safe way!
VK9000: Of course I can help! I’m tall! Then we can listen to the poetry of My Chemical Romance. They’re dark…but in a safe way.
WALTER: I hate today so much.

VK9000, Shirley and Timberly than sang a song about Christmas that dealt with cold darkness and midnight, but in a safe way.

Day 13 Rating: The Cone gets a 5 and the girl gets a 3 so it averages out to a 4.

See you tomorrow!

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