Do you have five minutes? Listen to Eric Clapton’s new version of “Jingle Bells.”

It’s beyond terrible.

It has NOTHING to do with Jingle Bells.

You could call this song “Sex Foot” and it would make as much sense.

Did Clapton hit the “demo” button on his Casio keyboard and call it a day?

Sure, there is a very brief “chorus” of someone “singing” “Jingle Bells” but most of this song sounds like music heard over the end credits of a NetFlix movie about a drug deal gone bad.

It’s so awful that I almost love it. Almost.

Well, if guitar legends cashing in on techno-fart holiday music didn’t get you in the Christmas spirit, maybe the Lego calendar can help. Today we get…

A Cheese Train!

Maybe I’m just hungry, but the yellow/orange peices look like cheese.

It’s the Cheddar Express!

Not bad.

Quincy can stand on this toy, which is fun. He still can’t use the jetpack from Day 1, so at least he can surf on a locomotive.

Walter the Poet Snowman and Timberly had another training session.

WALTER: To be a poet, you must dig deep and find words truer than true! See this train. Look at it. Feel it! Now, let your mind go and write a haiku about this train!
TIMBERLY: Choo-choo train in winter, ever-moving on the tracks, Choo-choo-Skadoo!
WALTER: That’s not really a haiku, but your word placement is magnificent! We must double our training! Soon you will be —

VK9000 enters.

VK9000: This train reminds me of a song I just wrote called “Holiday Train (Memories)” and it goes like this…

Merry Christmas! I’ll be home on the train to home!
Merry dancing, ’round the holly tree!
Take the train to my heart…this year!

TIMBERLY: That was like a dessert for my ears and a hug for my soul!
WALTER: No! No! No! The key to poetry is subtext and metaphor!
VK9000: The key to poetry is to end it with a pause and then, “…this year.”

Robot Snowman and Quincy were busy having fun with the train.

Day 11 Rating: 3 out of 5 (Points added because I like cheese.)

See you tomorrow!

This blog is brought to you by PowerPencils.com. Time is running out to get your order by Christmas. But if time does run out, you can always just buy your boyfriend or girlfriend a mug, and then break up because mugs are terrible. America has enough mugs. Stop buying mugs. Buy magic pencils. Save your relationship while there’s still time.