Last night was the 8th night of Hanukkah and the grand finale of the Santa Menorah.

Good time.

I have to keep this short because I need to dig my car out of the snow. I haven’t driven it in two days, so it’s safe to assume an entire family of rodents or bears or feral dachshunds have taken up residence under the hood.

I don’t know why animals are so attracted to my car. My car is the goddamn Snow White of automobiles, summoning creatures of all shapes and sizes. I’ll let you know if I find any poisoned apples or diminutive old men inside. What’s the best number to reach you?

Behind today’s calendar door is… Continue reading →

The last movie I saw in a movie theater was Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.

The movie was mostly bad.

More importantly, this has been the longest I’ve gone without visiting a movie theater since I can remember. There might be a few months in my life without a movie theater experience, but never an entire year.

When she was “very” pregnant with me, my mom asked the doctor if it was okay to go to the movies so she and my aunt could see Grease. (My name may or may not have been influenced by that film.) So it’s within the realm of reason to say I’ve been to the movies before I was born. And it explains how the hand-jive was encoded into my DNA.

Even with a vaccine, I can’t imagine going to the theater for at least another 6 months, probably longer. And that’s assuming theaters will still exist.

Yes, there are billions of streaming movies to watch at home. But it’s not the same. I miss the big screen, the popcorn, the trailers, laughing together, screaming together, inhaling mucus droplets from dozens of strangers. It was a shared experience. I miss it.

I probably sound like your great-great grandfather lamenting the loss of vaudeville. GET OFF MY LAWN WITH YOUR LOUSY FORTNITE AND YOUR TICKY-TOCKS!

Now that we’re all bummed out, here are some Lego bits and pieces. Today we find… Continue reading →

A Nor’easter is approaching.

That’s what they call major snow storms up here in the north eastern region of the country. A Nor’easter. It’s a wildly inventive name. Not even Dr. Seuss himself could create such a nutty name!

We might get a foot of snow, which isn’t much but enough to keep everyone indoors for 24 hours. Snow day!

Though after a year of lockdowns, a single snow day is like baking a single cookie. The ingredients were already out. Might as well add one more to the batch.

Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading →

You may ask, “Dan, what do you do with the Lego bricks after December?” And I answer with a sinister smile.

One possible reason the past year has been so off balance is that I obliterated the laws of physics using Lego. And now the gods are angry.

Behold!

 

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I built this a few months ago.

This unholy sculpture is called a Tensegrity Structure. The push and pull of forces and tension make this balancing oddity possible. It’s a fun experiment to try.  Easy too. Just get some Lego and some yarn or string. However, I’m sure befouling nature thusly summons evil and chaos. And for that, I am sorry.

Tensegrity is also cool because it sounds like a new, low-calorie snack food.

I hope today’s Lego Calendar item is as awe-inspiring as tensegrity! Continue reading →

I noticed a burning smell coming  from my car last week. I got a call from the mechanic this morning. The burning smell was caused by a dead animal (or part of a dead animal). He refused to go into detail. I pray it wasn’t a bald eagle or whale.

I hope your Monday morning was less disgusting.

The Lego calendar is here to cheer us all up! Today we find… Continue reading →

This year has less than three weeks left. We can get through this! I believe in us!

And when it’s all done, we should get matching tattoos! All of us! Who’s with me!?

Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading →

It’s the halfway point of the calendar. I’m happy with the results thus far. There have been no over-the-top extraordinary surprises in the calendar. But the only real duds have been the gift boxes, and those are part of the Lego Christmas tradition so I can’t get mad at them.

They are the dry, stale cookies of the calendar; it just wouldn’t be Christmas without them.

Good job, Lego. Keep it up.

Today’s item is… Continue reading →

Happy Hanukkah!

To celebrate, I broke out the good ol’ Lego Menorah, built by yours truly.

This year, I have enough Santas to make it a genuine Santa Claus-themed Menorah. It really drives home my Half-Jewish heritage.

(A pile of Santas is one of the many rewards for opening so many Lego calendars. )

To all my fellow Half-Jews, Happy Whatever!

And how will Lego celebrate? Continue reading →

I’m taking my car to the shop on Monday. Wish me luck. I think my battery is corroded. I had mice all throughout my car and they chewed up the battery casing. Rude.

I do not like mice.

I should get a snake for the  car. Or a cat. Or a flame thrower.

I hope today’s Lego item can cheer me up. Continue reading →