Happy Hanukkah! I label myself half-Jewish (my dad is 102-percent Jewish) but I don’t remember ever celebrating Hanukkah correctly. Usually my family would just light all eight candles whenever it was convenient (meaning we weren’t doing Christmas things), and if it actually occurred during the days of Hanukkah…well, that was a bonus.

As for Hanukkah presents, I never received eight separate gifts. I got a few presents that were labeled “From Santa” and few that were from “Hanukkah Charlie.” (Yes, we called him Hanukkah Charlie because Hanukkah can be spelled with a CH, and no, I’m not spelling Hanukkah with a CH today because I’m not really sure how.)

My fondest Hanukkah memory is getting an Empire Strikes Back digital watch. You probably stopped reading this out of jealousy. I know I would.

The point is: I received the same amount of presents that everyone else got. So when I told school friends that I get both Hanukkah and Christmas presents, they would vomit with envy, not knowing that my present allotment was no higher than a typical kid’s holiday loot.

I’m rambling. For the sake of fun, let’s say that today’s Lego Calendar item is a Hanukkah Present!

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I lost my iPod today. It’s a bright red iPod Nano, the square kind with the touch screen.

I had it with me on the bus home tonight, but now it’s gone. If you see it, give it back…and don’t judge my taste in music! The Trans-Siberian Orchestra is a hell of band and what they lack in meaningful lyrics and subtlety, they make up for with brutal Christmas soundscapes!!! Stop judging!

The point is, tonight sucks. Today’s item better be great. If it’s a new iPod, that would be super.
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It’s St. Nicholas Day, and you know what that means? I’m hoping you know what that means, because I don’t.

Yesterday’s item was a pretty great Baby Robot Snowgirl.

If today’s item is s-wordy, I wouldn’t be too upset. The calendar can’t offer up greatness everyday. Like they said in The Incredibles, “If everyone had superpowers, that means no one does.” (I’m paraphrasing, and it may not have been from The Incredibles. And that quote doesn’t even really apply to this calendar. Whatever. It’s late.)

Click to discover today’s item!

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Let’s forget yesterday happened. We can move on from the horrible item behind December 4th’s door and look towards the future.

Right now, before opening the door, today’s item has the potential to be anything. It could be a Lego trampoline. It could be a Lego duck. It could be Lego Ben Franklin. There are no limits.

Think positive and maybe today’s item will be glorious. Think positive. Think positive. Think… Continue reading →

Today’s item is unbelievable!

It’s existence is proof that we all died and live in heaven. It’s almost too good, like the first cookie you’ve ever eaten, or what it must feel like to be Tom Hanks. You are about to witness greatness that cannot be measured.

Prepare accordingly, take a breath, and click.
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“Because toys come to life at night, and if we don’t, the Lego people will die.” – That’s a pretty convincing argument for opening all the cardboard doors right away. If you are 8 years old, and need an excuse to open every door of your Lego Calendar, go with the one above. You’ll be ruining the entire holiday season, but you will get your Lego faster.

At the risk of generating too much hype, today’s item is the very best Lego item I’ve opened this December.

It’s…
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We’re off to a good start.

The Lego Friends Advent Calendar has spat out one figure and she’s wearing a winter sweater, so at least this set already feels Christmas-y. What will day 2 bring forth? Read on to find out!
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Opening the Lego Advent Calendar is among the greatest holiday traditions, and belongs right up there with tree decorating, cooking baking, and listening to awful music. To those new to the Lego Advent Calendar, click here to experience the past two years of fun.

The Lego Advent Calendar is box of cardboard doors that countdown to Christmas Eve, and behind each day’s door is a Lego item. Sometimes you get something stupid like a Lego bed, but sometime (well, just once really) you get a Naked Shower Santa Claus. And when you get a Naked Shower Santa Claus, all is right in the world.

But things are different this year. Very different. While 2010’s Lego Calendar was perhaps the greatest thing humans have ever created (thanks to Naked Show Santa, jetpack werewolf, and the wide variety of goodies), last year’s calendar was a little lackluster as multiple days were wasted building Lego walls for the kinda-cool-but-not-really Lego Police Station.

With that in mind, looking at box for the 2012 Lego City Advent Calendar, I was somewhat disappointed. First, Lego is now showing waaaay too much on the box. The fun of these calendars is never knowing what you’ll get. If the box were just decorated with a big red question mark, I would have bought it instantly. Instead, I looked at the box, saw that this year’s theme was a fire department, and shrugged. Sure, Lego Fire is cool, and having a Lego Fire Dept. would be pretty badass, but this year I want something a bit more unusual. A bit more fun. A bit worthier of 1,000-word blog posts.

So I left the 2012 Lego City Advent Calendar on the shelf.

WAIT! Don’t leave. There is indeed a Lego Advent Calendar to open! I promise.

You may assume this means I’m opening the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar. Sadly, the Star Wars calendars never seem that interesting and are grossly overpriced. Stores near me are selling them for upwards of $50! That’s ridiculous. There are about $20 worth of Lego in these boxes, and I would pay an extra ten for the Star Wars branding, but $30 is my limit. Besides, once again the box shows off too many items. There are more surprises to be had in a bag of generic Chex Mix than in the Lego Star Wars Advent Calendar.

No City Calendar. No Star Wars Calendar.

What else is there?

Pick up and the phone and start calling the cops. Things are about to get downright creepy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this year I will be opening the….

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