Name: Girl With Strange Sneeze
Powers: Loud, scary sneezes that sound less like a sneeze and more like an alien language…because it is an alien language.
Weaknesses: Dust.
Origin: She comes from beyond the stars and above time itself.
Description: She can take many forms. She wears clothes on the outside.
Rules: If you hear her sneeze, quickly hold your ears so her weaponized language/alien spell doesn’t control your mind.
Name: Humpty Dumpty’s Mom
Powers: Super strength, super size, super fury, capable of short flight.
Weaknesses: Fear of walls.
Origin: The mother of the giant egg Humpty Dumpty went on a killing spree after learning of her dear son’s death. She took revenge on not only the king’s men and horses but also the brick layers and architect who built the deadly wall. Thousands were killed.
Description: Chicken large enough to produce a human-sized egg.
Rules: If you hear a deep, guttural cluck, it’s too late.
Last Seen: Unknown. Her grandson, Nathan Dumpty, carries on the family tradition of bloodshed.
When people ask me, “How do you make your drawings?” I usually answer with a wink because I’m sexy. But let me explain the process and how I’m changing the process. I would never call myself an artist; I just make silly (amazing!) drawings and if you are interested in generating online visual content, here’s how I do it.
Name: More Than Rock
Powers: Tough, old, judges your body.
Weaknesses: Lava, loneliness.
Origin: Sometimes ghosts don’t possess humans; they possess rocks.
Rules: Leave them alone. Don’t listen to them. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but the words of stones (or sticks, for that matter) can’t hurt you.
Description: Rock-like. No feathers.
Last Seen: At the playground by the place where that kid got a bloody nose.
It will be six months before I open the 2012 Lego Advent Calendar. And that’s almost a year away! Luckily, during the non-holiday months Lego is offering up items that rival the mighty Advent Calendar in nearly every way. While the Advent Calendar is filled with surprises and mystery, the Lego items below are filled with angel’s magic and genie blood. That’s how great they are.
Lego just released a series of Monster Fighter toys. These sets Lego-ize the classic movie monsters like Dracula. But who would want stupid, dumb Dracula when you can have….
In my knitting video, I said, “A scarf is just a snake blanket.”
Perhaps inspired by that comment, Teri sent me this photo on Facebook. A real snake blanket! Teri, you are more talented than I, and for that reason, I must kill you. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
Or maybe I’ll just celebrate your talent instead of seethe with jealousy.
Thanks!
LaserFarm.com was launched a year ago, and what a year it’s been. From Lego Advent Calendars to Daily Monsters, this webzone has seen it all.
For the occasion, I drew this.
That’s not a boob at the bottom. It’s a cupcake, seen from directly above. It has pink icing and yellow sprinkles. The blue candle is in the middle. The orange is the fire. Pretty good, right?
Fine.
It sucks. I know. I kinda phoned this one in. But hey, remember when I painted that octopus? That was cool, right?
And remember when I used to answer Parade Magazine questions? Ho-ho! What a laugh!
Thank you for your continued support. You are my life now.
How was your Saturday? Neat! Here’s how I spent the wondrous day.
1. Lego
Until thirteen months ago, my interest in Lego equaled my interest in Kevin Costner movies – I found them to be mostly adequate but hardly noteworthy. That all changed when I opened my first Lego Advent calendar last December. Lego is pure, stupid fun. My respect for the product has grown, and if Kevin Costner is reading this, perhaps making a Costner Advent Calendar would change my opinion of you too.
