I noticed a burning smell coming from my car last week. I got a call from the mechanic this morning. The burning smell was caused by a dead animal (or part of a dead animal). He refused to go into detail. I pray it wasn’t a bald eagle or whale.
I hope your Monday morning was less disgusting.
The Lego calendar is here to cheer us all up! Today we find… Continue reading
This year has less than three weeks left. We can get through this! I believe in us!
And when it’s all done, we should get matching tattoos! All of us! Who’s with me!?
Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading
It’s the halfway point of the calendar. I’m happy with the results thus far. There have been no over-the-top extraordinary surprises in the calendar. But the only real duds have been the gift boxes, and those are part of the Lego Christmas tradition so I can’t get mad at them.
They are the dry, stale cookies of the calendar; it just wouldn’t be Christmas without them.
Good job, Lego. Keep it up.
Today’s item is… Continue reading
Happy Hanukkah!
To celebrate, I broke out the good ol’ Lego Menorah, built by yours truly.
This year, I have enough Santas to make it a genuine Santa Claus-themed Menorah. It really drives home my Half-Jewish heritage.
(A pile of Santas is one of the many rewards for opening so many Lego calendars. )
To all my fellow Half-Jews, Happy Whatever!
And how will Lego celebrate? Continue reading
I’m taking my car to the shop on Monday. Wish me luck. I think my battery is corroded. I had mice all throughout my car and they chewed up the battery casing. Rude.
I do not like mice.
I should get a snake for the car. Or a cat. Or a flame thrower.
I hope today’s Lego item can cheer me up. Continue reading
Pennsylvania is getting its first snow of the season. Snow outside. Christmas songs spinning on the Spotify. Lights on the tree. He-Man on the desk. The only thing that could make this more Christmas-y is if a teenager got spontaneously pregnant.
What does the wise and powerful Lego corporation grant me this day?
The Covid-19 vaccine is on the horizon. People in the U.K. are already getting the magic elixir. By this time next year, we will all be super-powered warriors! I’m only writing about it because it will date these blogs. 1,000 years from now, when humans and our cyborg overlords are living on the moon, they’ll find and read these blogs, and will know what was happening in the world.
Yes, ’tis a stressful time. But hope is the spark that shall ignite the light at tunnel’s end!
Also for the sake of prosperity, please know I was very handsome and stronger than most people.
Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading
If you find yourself stressed this holiday season and need to relax your brain, I highly recommend watching Hercules Candy videos on YouTube. This mom and pop candy store in upstate New York posts relaxing and funny videos about their candy making process.
Watching them make peanut brittle is very soothing.
And it has inspired me to become a candy maker! Some day. Maybe in 20 years. Not today. Today I’ll just eat candy.
Let’s see what Lego sprinkles into my life this fine December 7th… Continue reading
Despite all the horrible things that happened this year, it’s still a good time to be alive. Here’s proof:
So cheer up! If nothing else, I hope this blog shines a little light onto and into the otherwise grim December.
Go ahead and guess who shows up in this blog today. If you guess right, you get 500,000 points. No cheating.
Today’s item is… Continue reading
Dan’s Holiday Cocktail Recipes
You will need:
Directions:
Pour the premixed, alcoholic eggnog into a glass with ice. Think about throwing a few Hershey Kisses in there to see what happens. But then just eat the Kisses instead. Watch Iron Man 3, which is 100% a Christmas movie…and probably better than you remember.
*If you’re out of Iron Man 3, substitute with Die Hard 2.
Now let’s see what today’s door has been hiding… Continue reading