Pennsylvania is getting its first snow of the season. Snow outside. Christmas songs spinning  on the Spotify. Lights on the tree. He-Man on the desk. The only thing that could make this  more Christmas-y is if a teenager got spontaneously pregnant.

What does the wise and powerful Lego corporation grant me this day?

Gifts!

They’re…to be expected. It’s a calendar filler. Not much thought goes into these two boxes. And the green doesn’t even look like a good Christmas green. It’s more of a Kermit-flesh green.

I’ll take it.

Bo-Bo and Giles were excited to see what they got!

But Bo-Bo took apart the whole thing and couldn’t find a single gift.

“Maybe the real gift was…friendship,” he said. Then cried and hid his tears behind his glasses.

“Maybe the real gift is ghosts,” whispered Giles.

Then Faker appeared. He stands on his nametag because I’m sure most normal people don’t know who Faker is. Nor do they believe his name is actually Faker. (He-Man character names all sound like they were created by a nervous adult learning English for the first time. Get used to it.)

Simply put, Faker is a fake He-Man created by Skeletor. He has a control panel on his chest, so I think he’s a robot.

I was probably 5 years old the last time I thought about Faker, so I don’t really remember his whole backstory.  According to the internet, it’s complex. And He-Man lore isn’t exactly made of airtight, logical  worldbuilding. Faker’s role in the He-Man universe is all over the place. He could be He-Man’s brother. He could be a clone. He could be a living sandwich.

I do remember liking this guy when I was kid. Something about the chilly blue skin and the popping bright orange armor makes me happy.

If memory serves, Faker was not blue in the cartoon. He was He-Man-colored. They made the toy blue so parents didn’t feel ripped off buying another He-Man. (Though most, if not all, He-Man action figures were just He-Man’s body with a new head. We were dumb kids who didn’t notice because we were too busy not having internet.)

Faker wanted presents.

He inspected one of them but couldn’t figure out what was inside. Sensing that Faker would be angry if he didn’t get a present, Giles yelled, “It’s a football!”

“Ball good!” said Faker, who I kinda remember was an idiot. Maybe I’m confusing him with Bizarro Superman.

Day 9 Rating: 1.5 out of 5 (Points deducted because I think I got these exact same boxes before.)

See you tomorrow!

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