I wrote a short story about Santa Claus called What If Nothing Happens This Christmas. You can read and/or download it here!

The story was originally much shorter, and darker. In the original version, the story contained only the first section and ended with Santa missing Christmas because he was too afraid of what was out there.

That all changed this summer when I began making a list of possible enemies for Santa. Writing long lists is one of my many hobbies, so the end result was a list of over 100 possible enemies. I’ve included some in the final version of the story. The other’s I’m saving.

I love how the story turned out. The tone of the story changed significantly when I added a certain snowman to the mix. Everything became happier.

I hope you like the story. I had a blast writing it, in case you couldn’t tell. Let me know what you think.

Now let’s Lego!

Today’s item is… Continue reading →

It snowed this weekend, so my girlfriend and I built a snowman. It has been approximately 15-20 years since I last built a snowman, but the muscle memory never forgets. Brett is an authentic snow person, with real coal eyes, mouth, and buttons. We didn’t have a carrot, because carrots are gross, so his nose is a stick. He also doesn’t have a scarf or hat, because the neighborhood kids will steal them. He doesn’t have a pipe because Brett is not a victim of peer pressure.

I sure hope Brett never, ever dies! He’ll live forever, right?

Today’s Lego item shines some light on yesterday’s mystery object, but not much light. It’s like a tiny light on your computer that you only notice when it’s dark in your room.

Today’s item is… Continue reading →

Here’s what I don’t understand about Frosty the Snowman’s magic hat. If you put that hat on snow, the snow comes to life. What happens if you put it on a dead person? Surely there’s a zombie Christmas movie to made based on that idea. And I will sell you that idea for $510! Possible title: Frozty. (If you add a Z to something, it means zombie.) Possible actor to play Frozty: Michael Caine.

Today’s Lego is a great. Check it out! Continue reading →

Yesterday I got a jetpack astronaut with magic star wands. I’d be happy if the rest of the calendar is nothing but day after day of Lego benches. Just look at that astronaut! Look at him!

He’s not as surprising as Naked Shower Santa, but I’m not expecting anything as shockingly delightful as Naked Shower Santa to ever appear in these calendars again. As such, jetpack astronaut is the current king of the 2013 calendar, with no signs of losing that title.

Let’s see what non-astronaut item today offers… Continue reading →

It’s the 13th day of the Lego Advent Calendar. And it’s Friday. Friday the 13th? In December? Uh-oh. This evil day may bring about the very worst Lego item in the entire calendar.

But fear not. For today’s item is not the worst – it is the best.

It is the very best thing I have seen all December. When I first saw it, I assumed I opened the wrong day. This isn’t a gift for the middle of the calendar. This is a gift for day #24! But I checked. I opened the correct door.

I don’t think you’re re ready to witness the glory. You may need to stretch first. I know I should have.

Today’s item is… Continue reading →

First, Gingerbread Twix aren’t very good. Twix are one of my favorite candies, and the thought of a holiday-themed Twix led me to tears and sweat of joy.

Then I ate one. Then two. I’ve now eaten about eight of these “fun-sized” treats and it has lead me to this conclusion: They aren’t good.

They’re not terrible – they have the same consistency of a normal Twix – but the flavor is…off. It’s a little spicy, meaning “spicy nutmeggy,” not “spicy hot.” The taste is too artificial and forced, as if Mr. Twix used chemicals to make them, instead of using holiday cheer and song. After taking a bite, my reaction is always, “Damn. I wish this was a regular Twix.”

Buyers beware.

We’re halfway through the calendar! Judging by the first twelve days, this calendar is wonderful, and I continue to fear what’s waiting in the second half of December.

Today’s item is…. Continue reading →

I made a simple (perhaps too simple?) jetpack for Becky. It was long overdue. She’s thrilled, as you can clearly see by her facial expression.

Yesterday’s fantastic introduction of Trudy Tinsel Evergreen leads me to believe that today’s item will be simple at best, and frustratingly simple at worst.

I’ve been wrong before. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to predict what manner of Lego is waiting behind the cardboard doors. Part of me is worried that one day, maybe today or tomorrow but certainly not on Christmas Eve, the calendar will spit out another bench. In fact, I’m willing to bet $4 that there is another bench somewhere in the calendar. Seems odd if the table has only one bench. I don’t want another bench. I’d be happy with only one bench. But in the next 13 days, I will surely find bench #2.

Is that day today? Continue reading →

It snowed! We didn’t get a lot of snow this morning, but enough to make everyone hibernate for twelve hours. SNOW DAY!

As an added bonus, today’s Lego item is…well…

Good things come to those who wait. While today’s item is not a Mrs. Claus, what lived behind door #10 of the Lego Advent Calendar has been an item long desired. It is the Lego creation I coveted from the first time I saw my very first Lego calendar box.

To say more would ruin the surprise. Continue reading →

Look, today’s Lego item is the worst of the calendar, so far. I could spend many words explaining why it’s a lousy item and I could harness the powers of exclamation points to punctuate my disappointment. That’s what I would have done last year.

But this year I’m happy.

This year I’m embracing even the crappiest of Lego prizes.

Today’s item is… Continue reading →

If you know me, you know I love clear Lego pieces. They are less toy bricks than magical crystals. When I get a clear Lego piece, I hold up it to my eye for close inspection, as if I were a jeweler, archaeologist, or world-class thief. I stare at it and wonder: How did they harden the air?!

Clear Lego pieces make everything better.

Today’s Lego item contains such pieces. (And more!) Continue reading →