There are only two weekends left between now and Christmas, and this is one of ’em. Use it wisely. If you haven’t decorated your tree or dyed your eyebrows red by now, time is running out. Consider this the first warning in today’s blog.

Like listening to a two-year-old tell a story, today’s Lego Item is both fascinating and empty. I looked at it for a good three hours trying to decide if it was terrific or mediocre. You will have to read the entire article to find out which side I leaned towards.

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Sorry I was such a brat yesterday. While I am still underwhelmed by yesterday’s Lego offering, there was no need for me to act as I did. I apologize. I hope you can forgive me, and I hope the Lego Calendar forgives me too.

It’s been decided that yesterday’s item is indeed a Prison Cot and not a Dumb Desk. Arrange your Lego accordingly.

To help kick things off today, look at this. It’s the Advent Calendar from Christmas Vacation. Someone actually made it! If the thing burped out Lego, than it would be my favorite Advent Calendar.

Also, before we begin, does anyone want a cherry candy cane? I bought a whole box, and I really can only eat one before I remember that I don’t like cherry candy canes. Plus, with the beard, eating candy canes is precarious.

On to today’s item. No matter what it is, I’ll be happy. I promise.
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It stopped raining in Pennsylvania. That’s probably not the greatest intro sentence I’ve ever written, but I’m busy today and I need to wrap this up quickly.

Yesterday was a bad day in the Lego Calendar. That means today will be double-awesome, according to Dan Logic.

And today’s item is…
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I put up my Christmas tree yesterday. The picture you see to the right is the unlit tree. Looks really sad. You can’t tell from the photo but there are two strands of colored lights that emblaze the entire room with Christmas cheer.

The lights are the fancy kind that do all sorts of tricks, such as flicker, chase, slow fade, make you pizza bagels, help pay your student loan, twinkle, strobe, and so on. When I set the lights to “cycle” they do all the tricks and my tree looks exactly like a Daft Punk eye orgy.

I can’t take a photo of the lit tree because my photography skills are on par with my knitting skills. When illuminated, my tree is an absolute good. Take my word on it.

Is there anything more depressing than an unlit Christmas tree in the middle of the day on a rainy December Wednesday? Yep.

That answer just happens to be today’s Lego Advent Calendar offering. If you enjoy feeling happy and good, you may not want to read ahead. And if you do read on, you will need tissues to wipe away your sadness tears.

And no, it’s not a wall.

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My brother came to town for an anniversary party and after the party, we thought it’d be fun to go through the old Christmas ornaments in my dad’s attic. And then we found a mouse nest in the big cardboard ornament box along with rodent poo. And then Christmas was ruined.

[blank face]

You know what’s in the Calendar today. I know it. We all know it. So let’s stop being coy and start being disappointed.

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Not to brag, but the picture to the right is of my famous Dan’s Dessert Disc for Your Mouth. It looked better than it tasted. If you want to make you own, watch my instructional video, and check your blood sugar.

On to Day 4 of the calendar. So far, I’m enjoying the hell out of this year’s countdown. Crooks? Cops? Weapons? What more could you want?!

Alas, if the previous year is any indication, not all days will be outstanding. For every unforgettable Naked Shower Santa last year, there was a forgettable Lego Couch…which I literally forgot about until I reread the blogs.

Now I’m waiting for the crappy items of 2011 to reveal themselves.

Today’s item isn’t “crappy” nor is it crappy or CRAPPY. But I’m not jigging.

Read on to find out why.

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I made another unnecessary trip to the Lego Store. Had to. The world I am creating needs its own Lego mat and walls. The calendar comes with a printed cardboard mat, featuring a snow scene, but the pieces slide off too easily. I need a Lego mat. I could use the green mat I got last year, but then the Goat family will have no floor.

I’ve been asked if the Goats will make an appearance this year, and the answer is yes, but not yet. More on that later.

Right now I’m focusing on the 2011 Lego World. This burgeoning town needs a name, and that name is: Barbaria.

My girlfriend and I drove 100 miles round trip to the nearest Lego Store just so I could pick the right bricks needed to create the town of Barbaria.

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