This year has less than three weeks left. We can get through this! I believe in us!

And when it’s all done, we should get matching tattoos! All of us! Who’s with me!?

Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading →

It’s the halfway point of the calendar. I’m happy with the results thus far. There have been no over-the-top extraordinary surprises in the calendar. But the only real duds have been the gift boxes, and those are part of the Lego Christmas tradition so I can’t get mad at them.

They are the dry, stale cookies of the calendar; it just wouldn’t be Christmas without them.

Good job, Lego. Keep it up.

Today’s item is… Continue reading →

Happy Hanukkah!

To celebrate, I broke out the good ol’ Lego Menorah, built by yours truly.

This year, I have enough Santas to make it a genuine Santa Claus-themed Menorah. It really drives home my Half-Jewish heritage.

(A pile of Santas is one of the many rewards for opening so many Lego calendars. )

To all my fellow Half-Jews, Happy Whatever!

And how will Lego celebrate? Continue reading →

I’m taking my car to the shop on Monday. Wish me luck. I think my battery is corroded. I had mice all throughout my car and they chewed up the battery casing. Rude.

I do not like mice.

I should get a snake for the  car. Or a cat. Or a flame thrower.

I hope today’s Lego item can cheer me up. Continue reading →

Pennsylvania is getting its first snow of the season. Snow outside. Christmas songs spinning  on the Spotify. Lights on the tree. He-Man on the desk. The only thing that could make this  more Christmas-y is if a teenager got spontaneously pregnant.

What does the wise and powerful Lego corporation grant me this day?

Continue reading →

The Covid-19 vaccine is on the horizon. People in the U.K. are already getting the magic elixir. By this time next year, we will all be super-powered warriors! I’m only writing about it because it will date these blogs. 1,000 years from now, when humans and our cyborg overlords are living on the moon, they’ll  find and read these blogs, and will know what was happening in the world.

Yes, ’tis a stressful time. But hope is the spark that shall ignite the light at tunnel’s end!

Also for the sake of prosperity, please know I was very handsome and stronger than most people.

Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading →

If you find yourself stressed this holiday season and need to relax your brain, I highly recommend watching Hercules Candy videos on YouTube. This mom and pop candy store in upstate New York posts relaxing and funny videos about their candy making process.

Watching them make peanut brittle is very soothing.

And it has inspired me to become a candy maker! Some day. Maybe in 20 years. Not today. Today I’ll just eat candy.

Let’s see what Lego sprinkles into my life this fine December 7th… Continue reading →

Despite all the horrible things that happened this year, it’s still a good time to be alive. Here’s proof:

1. There is a weekly Star Wars show with a heavy focus on jetpack and jetpack culture.
2. The internet exists.
3. Dogs.
4. I have something amazing to show you later in this blog.

So cheer up! If nothing else, I hope this blog shines a little light onto and into the otherwise grim December.

Go ahead and guess who shows up in this blog today. If you guess right, you get 500,000 points. No cheating.

Today’s item is… Continue reading →

Dan’s Holiday Cocktail Recipes

The Credible Dutchman

You will need:

• 1 bottle of PA Dutch Eggnog (the boozy, premixed kind sold in jugs at the liquor store)
• 5 Hershey Kisses
• 1 free evening
• Add Iron Man 3 to taste*

Directions:

Pour the premixed, alcoholic eggnog into a glass with ice. Think about throwing a few Hershey Kisses in there to see what happens. But then just eat the Kisses instead. Watch Iron Man 3, which is 100% a Christmas movie…and probably better than you remember.

*If you’re out of Iron Man 3, substitute with Die Hard 2.

Now let’s see what today’s door has  been hiding… Continue reading →

I can’t remember the last time I stepped foot in a mall. And I don’t plan to until everyone is vaccinated. But even before the pandemic, malls were on the decline. The regular malls near me had plenty of closed stores in 2019 and I can’t imagine what 2020 has done to them. I picture some Mad Max situations within these dead malls where the only law is violence and the only currency is fists…and gift cards.

I also live near a big mall, The King of Prussia Mall, which sounds weird but King of Prussia is a real city outside of Philadelphia. I don’t know why it’s called King of Prussia. I’d prefer if it were called The Kingdom of Prussia, because it’s not a person…it’s a place. It’s like calling The North Pole, Queen of Scotland.

Anyway, The King of Prussia Mall is (kinda) the largest mall in the country. It’s easy to get lost inside. There are loops and circles and two Santa Clauses (one near the ritzy, “May I Help You, Sir?” stores, the other in the “Everything Smells Like Fried Soap” section.) This mall is home to the nearest Lego store. It’s where I got Lego pieces to construct the background I used in the first Lego calendar blog.

I miss those little adventures to the BIG mall. There was always a sense of excitement and stress, like an amusement park filled with bees. People were happy, angry, frustrated, friendly, evil, helpful and tired all at the same time. You could spend the entire day people-watching and never see two identical emotions.

I never really thought of the mall much. It’s an experience I took for granted before the pandemic. If the BIG mall survives (and I think out of all the malls, this one will), I’m excited to visit it next year and buy something stupid and a pretzel.

Speaking of stupid. Today’s Lego item is… Continue reading →