Hi.

I wrote and rewrote the opening of this blog several times. There are versions of this in which I explained, in gory detail, what happened between my former employer and I. Versions in which I cried and wept over how things ended. And versions in which I called people terrible names and vowed vengeance for the way in which I was treated. There was also a version told exclusively in food emojis and one that was, it turned out, a word-for-word plagiarization of an episode of Full House.

But I deleted it all, and then emptied the digital trash can icon, partly because I’m taking the high-road, and partly because, sweet mother of God, I love the sound effect of that tiny digital trash can emptying.

So let me start by saying this: I have written of Twilight in the past. You can find these previous blogs with a simple Google search. Hell, the blogs are still still linked in this website…somewhere. My relationship with the former employer has soured well beyond the point of vinegar, all bridges nicely burnt to a crisp, and bygones are bygoned.

I tread carefully here for fear that an army of lawyers will attack me with spears and whips, so I hope you respect the reasons for which I must remain silent regarding…that place…the one where I once worked. It is a place I do not like.

But I love you! Always! I love you more than the sound the digital trash can makes when you empty it!!! And I’ve missed you!!! Look how tall we’ve all gotten! And is that a tattoo?

Point is, it’s time for a fresh start. And what better way to start fresh than by reading a rebooted version of the worst thing to happen to literature since I saw a kid puke on The Giving Tree in the doctor’s office waiting room. Continue reading →