I watched Krampus, the 2016 Christmas horror movie starring Adam Scott and Toni Collette. It’s…kinda great.
It’s not on par with Gremlins, the king of holiday horror-comedy, but it’s in the same goofy ballpark. This movie gets wonderfully weird and silly-in-a-good-way.
If you’re up to your ears with sappy and sweet holiday crap, I recommend Krampus as a nice reminder that there’s more to this season than movies about a single woman in a small town who used to star on Full House.
Also, while Krampus is a horror movie, it’s not super-duper scary. And it has some great production design. Give it a shot. It won’t change the world, but it’s 90 minutes of PG-13 fun horror holiday mayhem.
Today the Lego Calendar offers us…
Shovel Lady!
She has a shovel! Her name is Timberly, like Kimberly but better.
Quincy was happy to have a mom and Walter the Snowman was happy to have another audience member.
WALTER: And now I shall recite another poem!
What is a hat, but the exclamation point of a person.
What are shoes, but the semi-colon of life.
What are gloves, but the commas between which we live.
What are we…but a sentence.
That’s a poem called “Subject Predicate” and it won the Guthrie Award for Excellence in Word Arts. You’re welcome!
TIMBERLY: It didn’t rhyme.
WALTER: Rhyming poetry is for sailors and greeting cards. I make word art, m’lady!
TIMBERLY: Neat. I work for a living shoveling. It’s hard but I don’t mind.
WALTER: Poetry is harder. It takes me weeks to find the perfect word! Weeks!
TIMBERLY: That’s silly. I can come up with words in seconds. Try me.
WALTER: Then I challenge you to come up with a word that truly encompasses the feeling of winter’s brutality!
TIMBERLY: Carrots.
WALTER: My…God! You are a genius! A little raw, but the talent is there! Join me! I must train you in the poetic arts!
In more important news, I learned that Lego figures can hold Dum-Dum lollipops.
I have a bag of holiday themed Dum-Dum flavors. Some make sense, like Sugar Cookie and Gingerbread, but this blue lollipop flavor is “Polar Punch,” which is just a fancy word for raspberry. No one drinks raspberry punch at Christmas except maybe the devil or your teenage cousin who’s just trying to be difficult. Blue raspberry is a summer flavor, goddamnit!
I’m on to you, Dum-Dum! I know you’re passing off regular flavors as holiday treats. And I’m calling my Senator and lawyer.
Day 7 Rating: 3.9 out of 5 (Points added for that sweet shovel!)
See you tomorrow!
This blog is brought to you by PowerPencils.com, but the bad news is I only sell magical pencils. So if you’re looking for a dumb sweater or a Funko Pop figure of Gunther from Friends, you best move along. Only unique and special gifts here.