Big news: Last night I beat the original Legend of Zelda for the NES.

I’m proud of myself.

I have beaten the game only once before, many years ago. And while this second victory isn’t as grand as the first, I’m still riding a high comparable to that of taking cocaine for the first time. (I assume.)

While I was a Nintendo kid growing up in the 1980s, Zelda was never a favorite until later in life. When Little Kid Dan borrowed the game from friends, it seemed too hard and strange. Mario made sense to me — run to the right as hard as you can and kill turtles. But Zelda let you go in any direction, with little guidance except for a few cryptic (and mistranslated?) clues. My eight-year-old brain couldn’t handle it.

What was I supposed to do? Go in that door? Is that the right door? Should I not go in that door? Am I doing this wrong? WHERE ARE TURTLES I CAN KILL?!

I love the game now. It’s probably my favorite of the old 8-bit days, even beating out Super Mario 1, 2 and 3.

But Little Kid Dan hated the game, despite my mom’s best efforts.

I don’t know how my mom found out about Zelda but she tried on several occasions to get my brother and I into the game. She was fascinated by the idea of exploring and finding secrets. Something about the game spoke to her and she wanted me to own this magical treasure of a game. However, when writing my wish list to Santa, Zelda never made the cut. I didn’t want Zelda. And so my house was Zelda-free for years…too many years. (I did own an NES game called Werewolf: The Last Warrior. It was terrible.)

I was a fool. My mom was right. Sorry mom!

It wasn’t until the game was re -released on the Gameboy Advanced in the early 2000s that I played through the whole thing. By then, I had already devoured the SNES and Nintendo 64 versions of the legend. And my favorite was the old Gameboy adventure Link’s Awakening — an odd addition to the series that seems to be slightly forgotten.

Playing the original game, even in a world of fancy graphics and high-tech zip-zaps, was a joy.

I love it!

What does all this have to do with a Lego Advent Calendar? Not one damn thing.

Behind today’s door we find…

A Snowman!

He’s small, but fancy. His name should be something sophisticated and European.

Let’s call him Sir Walter Vixen of Munningshire-Moor.

He is a world traveler and winner of several prestigious poetry tournaments including the famed Turkchester Ribbon, the Galant Scribe Cup and the rap battle held behind the old Circuit City.

WALTER: Hello new friends! What a pleasure it all is to be sure!
QUINCY: Are you my mom?
WALTER: A spirited chap, I see! Wonderful! Delightful! My dear boy, be a lamb and fetch me an opera cape and the finest monocle of the house!
QUINCY: Shouldn’t I be in school?
WALTER: Life is a school, dear boy. Now, let us take this conversation to the parlor and I will recite one of my many winning poems!
QUINCY: Your mug smells like medicine.
WALTER: [clears throat] Through snow, I stop and look at windows frosted with ice, and my horse is still, and the window represents death! That’s a poem called “Christmas Cheer.” It took eight years to write and I sold the poem to the King of France for $3 million!
QUINCY: Do you know my parents? Are you supposed to be here?
WALTER: OF course not, dear boy. To the parlor!

There was no parlor. Robot Snowman has no patience for pretense and didn’t like this guy one bit.

Day 6 Rating: 3 out of 5 (Points deducted bceause that little Lego peice on top of the mug doesn’t really fit in the mug snuggly and keeps falling out. What the hell, Lego? Get your head in the game!

See you toorrow!

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