I’ve seen the Star Wars Holiday Special. If you’ve never heard of it, search the internet. Better yet, don’t.

The Star Wars Holiday Special is a terrible 2-hour(!) Christmas show about Wookiees celebrating Life Day. I watched it in college. Or at least I tried to watch it. My friends and I gathered around to have a good laugh at the awfulness of this 1980s relic. But it’s tough to sit through the whole thing…even in college.

It’s boring. There are long, ten-minute stretches of time in which NOTHING HAPPENS! Wookiees just walk around their tree house making dinner. It’s like watching The Nutcracker, but without the dancing or music.

At one point, Bea Arthur shows up and the grandad Wookiee (if my memory is correct) has cyber sex. That’s not a joke.

Anyway, don’t watch it. Read about it, watch a few clips online if you so desire, but never watch the entire thing. If you do watch the whole show, on your death bed, moments before you die, you will look up at the universe and whisper, “I wasted two hours of precious life watching Wookiees… .”

The Star Wars Holiday Special is bad.

The Star Wars Lego Calendar is good.

Today’s item is…

Luke Skywalker! He’s here to rescue you.

I wasn’t expecting a celebrity visit today. Hi Luke! Please meet Hank, Huck, Vance, and somewhere there’s a robot named Warren.

Luke was very polite, as this is Farm-Boy Luke and not angry Emo-Luke from Episode VI.

He was a bit pissed that Hank was riding the landspeeder, since that it is Luke’s vehicle. He politely asked to have a turn, but Hank said, “Go finish your chores, sister-kisser!”

Luke snapped, and revealed his ANGRY FACE!

That’s right, folks — Luke comes with two faces!

Then there was a fight.

LUKE: Gimme my landspeeder!
HUCK: No one beats up my brother but me!
HANK: Die of a broken heart, Skywalker! I heard that disease is genetic!

Day 13 Rating: 3.5 out of 5 (Points added for the celebrity appearance.)

Avengers Calendar Day 13

Iron Man head.

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