Name: The Humming Shark (You thought it said “Humpingshark” didn’t you, pervert?)

Powers: The tiny bird/shark must eat 100 lbs. of either nectar or human meat due to its fast metabolism. It can burn 7,000 calories simply by thinking about math for eight minutes.

Weaknesses: Hummingbears. Hummingwolves. Hummingwizards. Lava. Little children who use jars without air holes to collect the diminutive animals.

Origin: These creatures evolved from a goat. How messed up is that?

Rules: Hummingsharks never reach sexual maturity, which is why they giggle so often during mating.

Description: They taste OK.