Today is Santa Claus Day in Europe. Children in Germany are visited by Santa on December 6th, and he fills their socks and shoes with treats. I’m not expecting Santa Claus in this calendar (and to ask for a Mrs. Claus is a fool’s request, for she is as elusive as world peace — existing only in our minds and our un-granted birthday wishes).

What I’d really like out of this calendar is some treasure — good, shiny treasure. Gems. Jewels. Gold coins. A crown, if possible. Toy treasure is wonderful because it can work with any figures currently arranged on your desk. Yes, I am an adult. Why do you always make that face when I say that?

Will treasure be buried behind today’s door?

It’s a cannon! A violent piece of treasure, indeed.

Ah…now it makes sense. After a few seconds of confusion, I managed to assemble the pieces into a real working cannon that ejects yesterday’s “microphones” with enough momentum and velocity to annoy a bear. The cannon is more powerful than it looks. Trust me: Those microphones fly fast and hard when you pop them out of this cannon using the trigger-thingy.

And unlike the Lego calendars, there is no symbol warning me against shooting people in the eye with this item. Thank you for not treating me like an idiot, Playmobil. Now lawyer up, because I’m about to poke out all kinds of eyes and teeth with this thing! I also want to see what one of these pieces feels like in my esophagus. Probably feels good. Only one way to find out.

Jonas Cannoncube was happy with the weapon and wanted to use it to “dig” for treasure.

And then he convinced Robot Snowman to play a game of catch.

Wait! Did you just hear something? Over there, by the trees? There was a rustling…

Jonas was about to attack when out from the tropical jungle marched four little Winter Gnomes. And one of them was naked.

Because it’s Santa Claus Day, and because I won’t be getting a Santa in this calendar, it’s only fair that I’m allowed to bring out my old friends before December 24th. Hi Guys!

Jonas is confused, but it’ll be okay.

This is a good Christmas.

Day 6 Rating: 3.4 out of 5 (Points added for its lack of warning.)

See you tomorrow!

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