If you lack the Christmas Spirit this year, or if you just enjoy wonderful things, I demand you watch the Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special, available for streaming on Netflix. It’s a thing of insane beauty, much like Naked Shower Santa.
Watch it. Or just stand outside my window today, because I’ll probably be watching it again while I wrap presents.
Pee-Wee Herman, along with He-Man, Star Wars, and Construx, was a major circle in the Venn Diagram of Lil’ Dan Bergstein. Paul Reubens and the team that made Pee-Wee’s Playhouse were geniuses and I’m a better person for their existence.
I could write thousands of words about Pee-Wee Herman, but today’s Lego item is such a wonderful bit of weirdness we need to see it…NOW!
Today’s item is…
A CHRISTMAS DROID!!!!
What!?
This pointy-headed robot is one of the highlights of this year! Let’s name him: H0-H0! (Pronounced “Ayche Oh, Ayche Oh.” And how do you spell the letter H? Ayecht?)
H0-H0 is the reason I spend forty bucks on these calendars every year. A single tear of joy is rolling down my cheek and will soon be followed by an avalanche of more tears.
H0-H0 greeted everyone with a hearty, “Wheeee-bleep, dooowah-durm!”
Principal McMurphy, who hates technology and anything new, quickly tried to squash the fun by saying, “Was that a swear, mister?” The Principal then spent ten minutes searching for the droid’s “sass mouth.”
Warren and H0-H0 were friends from before Luke was born. They had wild adventures together that will one day be unnecessarily explained in a tedious set of awful movies that ruin everything.
H0-H0 then delivered a message to Luke that said, “Hey Luke, it’s your mom. I really hope you get this when you’re a child. I’m sending it via this handy holiday droid. Anyway, I love you, but your dad broke my heart so I’m totally gonna die. It’s not your fault, kinda. So…be good to your new parents — maybe that little frog man will raise you. Don’t forget to brush your teeth and do your chores. And your dad may have killed a bunch of kids and will probably blow up entire planets. Weird, right?! But don’t be too hard on him. He just gets angry because he wanted to bring his mom back to life…or something. So…don’t bring me back to life with your witch powers. And…lots of love. And…um…which button do I press to end this? Oh, and don’t kiss your sister! OK. End message? Do I just hang up or do I press pound?”
It was the best gift Luke ever received.
H0-H0 and Warren then headbutted each other. (It’s a droid thing.)
Day 22 Rating: 4.9 out of 5 (Points added for everything.)
Avengers Calendar Day 22
It’s Pitbull! (During the day he works as mild-mannered Kenny Chesney.)
Power Pencils for sale! Get ‘em while they’re room temperature!