Hanukkah begins tonight! Since I’m half-jewish, that means I get to celebrate Hanukkah. But, if I may be a spokesperson for all the half-Jewish people in the world, let me say, once and for all, that being half-Jewish does NOT mean you get double presents.

That math never works out. If you measure it by weight, by dollar, or by the size of gifts, our total loot equals that of full-blown Jewish and Christian kids. All it really means is that when we’d visit family, one grandma had a Christmas tree and the other had a Menorah. And everything was lovely.

Speaking of lovely things. Lego!

Today’s item is…

A Rebel Pilot!

Her name is Jojo Comet. She loves French toast and swimming. She hates licorice and Vince Vaughn. Hi Jojo Comet!

Jojo has two faces. One is angry. The other is contemplative…as if she’s trying to understand what Chewbacca looks like if you shaved him.

Side Note: If you look it the face for a while, the mouth begins to look like a mustache (both black and a bushy white) and the chinstrap looks like the mouth being held open by some sort of dental torture device. Merry Christmas!

Everyone was pleased to meet Jojo, but then she asked why no one was wearing helmets.

Luke didn’t have a helmet, so he improvised.

HANK: Nice hat, farm boy.
LUKE: Shut up!
HANK: Go do your chores!
LUKE: No! Stop being a jerk. There’s good in you. I can feel it.
HUCK: Stop feeling my brother!

There was a fight. Vance explained to Jojo that it’s best not to get involved. Then they left to get French toast.

Day 16 Rating: 3.13 out of 5 (Points were added and deducted for no reason.)

Avengers Calendar Day 16

It’s Billy Crystal! I didn’t even know he was a member.

There are two kinds of Christmases: Those with magic pencils and those without. You don’t want to end 2014 without magic pencils.You have just two days left to order Power Pencils and get them by Christmas! You’d better click here to order before it’s too late!