Ladies and gentlemen, I’m growing a beard. Though my face is usually clean shaven, I have grown a few beards in my life. Typically at the 5-week point I harvest the beard out of boredom. Then I regret my decision to shave and cry until some nice person tells me that the beard isn’t gone if we carry its spirit in our hearts. Then I fiddle with my nude chin until it gets a brush burn.

My current beard, which I have named Riley, is just about 2 weeks old but he’s very mature for his age and excels at math. (Photos to come.) Why am I writing about my personified beard instead of the Lego Advent Calendar? Because I’m overtired and had hot dogs for breakfast.

Read on to see today’s item. (Hint: It begins with F and ends with U-C-K. Hahahahahaah!)

It’s a fire truck!

Sword Boy and Cat Girl have been given another present, and I’m worried that these gifts should have been saved for December 25th. On Christmas morning, it’s going to be tough explaining to these kids that they won’t have any presents to open. Luckily I won’t be the one explaining it because I’ll be too busy. Dan’s Christmas Day is a wild ride of holiday travel and about 7,200 different parties with family and friends. It’s hectic in the best possible way. So when Sword Boy and Cat Girl are crying about their lack of a real Christmas, I’ll be too busy eating 19 different Christmas dinners to care.

Right now, Cat Girl has challenged Sword Boy to a truck fight…winner takes all. My money is on Cat Girl because she wants it more.

Day 13 Rating: 2.6 out of 4 (Points deducted because I had hot dogs for breakfast.)

Check back tomorrow. The chance of finding Cynthia are better and better with the passing of each day.