This is a photo of my beard. He’s a young beard – glorified stubble, really – but he’s growing fast. The beard looks a bit like Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree at the moment. Perhaps if I decorate him with ornaments I steal from a nearby doghouse, my lil’ beard will be as lush and handsome as Zeus’s beard…except it’ll be less white, though filled with the same amount of lightning.

Today’s Lego item isn’t that great. I wasn’t even sure if it was worthy of a blog entry. Why waste precious internet on something as trivial and forgettable as this…thing? For the sake of consistency, I wrote it up anyway.

It’s CYNTHIA!

Cynthia the Sausage Lady Bread Lady arrived today! If you listen closely, you can hear a choir of angels singing. She’s here! She’s here! After 13 long days, Cynthia is home!

She doesn’t come equipped with sausage, but I’ve come to terms with that a few days ago. She can borrow the werewolf’s sausage. Her loaf of bread isn’t quite as funny as toy meat, but it’s just random enough to make one giggle. And she has extra hair.

Tee-hee!

Hello, Cynthia. We’ve all been waiting for you, especially your neglected children. Upon seeing her long-lost mother whom was vacationing in Peru looking for great bread, Cat Girl was overcome with emotion and tried to hug her mom furiously.

This didn’t go over well. Cynthia hasn’t been around children for some time and she thought Cat Girl was trying to steal her beloved bread. In an awkward family moment, Cynthia yelled at Cat Girl and made her stand against the wall.

What has gotten into Cynthia? Something isn’t right. Something isn’t right at all!

Yep, Cynthia is possessed by a Peruvian Demon that she accidentally ate while vacationing in Peru. The demon is in charge now.

Thaddeus tried to step in and save his family, but Faceless Cynthia used her mind powers and sexy enchantments to overcome Mr. Goat.

Sword Boy ran away and is hiding on top of the wall. Robot Snowman surveyed the carnage and realized it was up to him to save the day.

Using robotic strength, he pushed Faceless Cynthia to the ground, hoping that would eliminate the demon lurking in her soul.

That didn’t work. So Robot Snow summoned Flames of Justice to rid Cynthia of the evil.

It worked. Who knew that robots can summon justice fire? I did.

Everyone is fine, but things at the Goat household are still a bit awkward. It’ll take a Christmas miracle to bring this family together. Lego Advent Calendar, your next item better be miracle-ish.

Day 14 Rating: 4 out of 4 (Extra hair and Lego Loafs make for a perfect score.)

To celebrate his victory over Faceless Cynthia, Robot Snowman is wearing Cynthia’s extra hair. He thinks he looks like Megan Fox. Let him have his moment. See you tomorrow.