Name: The Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe (a.k.a. Dolorous)

Powers: Strong survival skills; very fertile; mean; good at guessing Wheel of Fortune puzzles.

Weaknesses: Society’s standards.

Origin: She had a lot of kids once and was made the subject of a famous nursery rhyme, though the size of her shoe is often exaggerated by nursery rhyme illustrators.

Rules: Don’t ask her about the other shoe. You’re better off not knowing.

Description: Old, cranky woman with one barefoot. She sometimes dates Old Father Hubbard, who is recently single after Mother Hubbard’s tragic and suspicious death.

Last Seen: Getting kicked out of TGIFridays after losing a fight over the semantics of the sign: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.