The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald 

It’s another “Dan Was Assigned this In High School But Didn’t Read It Until He Was 40” classic! And you know what… it’s pretty good. It’s an odd novel because you’re never rooting for any of the characters. At least I wasn’t rooting for them. They are all stupid, artless dumb-dumbs and the type of people I would avoid at a party…a party I wouldn’t be invited to in the first place. [See also: Gone With the Wind.] And I’d be happy at home watching YouTube videos instead of going to their dumb party! 

The story is really simple: Rich Dummy pines for the Boring Lady and everyone is miserable. But…get this…despite being miserable, they have big parties. It’s almost as if the parties are a facade?! Could it be that everything is a facade?!?!? And you know what? I’m not sure the billboard in the novel showing the giant eyeglasses is really just a billboard at all!!!!

This short book is a classic because of how well it’s written. F. Scott doesn’t waste a single sentence or word. Everything means something, and there’s a mountain of subtext about American society, wealth, greed, passion, nostalgia and any other theme you could write about in 10th grade. Writing about this book is really easy. Example: The green light of Daisy’s dock represents man’s desire for green lights. The End.

There’s nothing surprising in the book. While the writing was impressive I didn’t drop the book when I was done and weep to the heavens, “I get it! I get what all the fuss is about!” It’s just a genuinely good book. Now I have to go. I hope you have fun at the party. The ad on this YouTube video about ranking Zelda bosses has finally finished and I gotta get back to it. 

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