It’s the last day of the Lego Advent Calendar. *sigh* It seems like just yesterday that I first met Robot Snowman and now he’s so grown up. The final day’s item is both expected and surprising. We all knew the train engine was coming. Only an evil Lego Calendar would give you two train cars and then slap you in the face while screaming, “You don’t get the train engine because you’re ugly!”

So yes, there is a train engine behind today’s door. But the engine is not alone, and with this added item I’m left feeling dirty and scared. What has made me shiver in terror?

Real Santa riding a Train Engine! Real Santa?

That’s right. Real Santa showed up, clothed and all. This begs the question: Who the freaking hell is the dude in the shower? He’s not Santa. Santa rides the train. Santa comes on Christmas Eve. The Santa wearing red is the real Santa. If Real Santa is the real Santa…

Uh-oh.

I was going to quickly get the Goat family out of the house before Naked Un-Santa assassinated them all with a crowbar. But I forgot that the Goat family is badass. They have weapons and a Snowman Robot. The hunter has become the prey, and the Goat family takes care of this Un-Santa the only way they know how: Brute force.

Turns out it wasn’t an old man but a crazy guy with a fake beard. With the would-be murderer taken care of, the Goat Family found the true meaning of Christmas, and all was right with the world.

Day 24 Rating: 4 out 4 (Because it’s Santa. The real one. He might be wearing a thong, but at least Real Santa has the decency to keep his underpants hidden.)

And now a quick recap of the items in the calendar. These are my favorite items, from least awesome to “OMG! I just peed a lot.”

24. Lego Couch – Which I’m giving to my brother later tonight.

23. Lego Table – Though the clear piece did become the head for Mr. Ice Face. That’s kind of cool.

22. The Second Toy Truck – Because I wanted a Sea Serpent.

21. Log Sled with bonus Wood – I honestly forgot about this item eight minutes after I wrote it up.

20. Train Car #2 – Because I still wanted a Sea Serpent.

19. Drum Kit – This is the most fragile of the Lego Things and falls apart if you even look at it.

18. First Toy Truck – The crane is confusing.

17. Fire Truck – Not a Sea Serpent.

16. Skateboard Ramp – Now we move into the more amazing items.

15. Toy Piano

14. Toy Helicopter – It’s a damn Hover Train! Hover Train!!

13. Fireplace – Lego Fire makes anything better.

12. First Train Car – It’s better than the second one; not quite as good as the engine.

11. Christmas Tree

10. Thaddeus – He was fine on his own, but when he became Mr. Ice Face, the world was a better place.

9. Cat Girl

8. Sword Boy – Only slightly better than Cat Girl because swords are greater than cats, according to math.

7. Werewolf – How can you go wrong with toy sausage? No really, I want you to tell me how. I can wait all night.

6. Cynthia – Not as wonderful as I had hoped, but toy bread is welcome at my table any time.

5. Robot Snowman – I’m the only one who understands him and his culture.

4. Jetpack – Jetpack Werewolf! I’m not going to count the toy plane as a real item. You’ll just have to come to terms with that. I have.

3. Real Santa Claus – He’s real and he’s mine.

2. Shower – Now when I discuss Lego Showers, I will have some point of reference.

1. Naked Shower Santa – He’s real and he’s mine!

Though the Lego Calendar has coughed up its last treasure, I’m still going to make one or two (or ten) more Lego Calendar posts during the week between Christmas and New Years. I have nothing else to do…and I have many left over pieces.

Until then, Happy Holidays from everyone here at Dan Bergstein Industries. And I mean ALL of the holidays, even Easter and Arbor Day.