I don’t often use swear words in my writing. When I do, it’s for comedic effect. But I am about to use a profane word in just a few sentences and it is being written with utmost sincerity. Prepare accordingly.
If you cannot handle mature language, and have a tendency to faint when someone says “Damn” or “butty” then please stop reading.
Things happened today involving the Lego Friends Advent Calendar, and to censor my thoughts would be a disservice not only to myself but to society.
Cover the eyes of toddlers in the room and prepare to gasp.
Ready? Click…
Fuck you, Lego.
A mop and bucket? That’s what you’re giving little girls (and one strange adult man)? This is what you assume children want to play with?
This is offensive.
Perhaps Lego assumed girls would see this and have the following conversation…
KELLY: Want to come over and play Lego?
JILL: Nah. That’s too hard. That’s for boys.
KELLY: But the new girl Lego set comes with a mop! We can clean!
JILL: Yay! Just like my mommy and grandmommy!
KELLY: We don’t even have to build anything. It’s all done for us!
JILL: That’s good. Building gives me lady cramps.
KELLY: Boys will like us because we’re dumber than them is.
JILL: Stickers and baskets!
It’s offensive because it perpetuates awful stereotypical gender roles, and shouts at the consumer, “Girls clean!”
It’s also offensive as a Lego prize because it’s so ridiculously trite, but thats hardly the issue.
Cleaning products? For girls?
I suppose if Lego made a calendar for Hanukkah it would include nothing but Lego money and figures who are lousy at sports.
Tomorrow, the Friends Calendar will probably give me a Lego Maternity Ironing Board or Lego Career Glass Ceiling. Hell, why not throw in a Lego Jar of Pickles That Only Lego Boys Can Open.
Nintendo looked at this and then at me, and then back to bucket, and then back to me. Without saying a word, she walked outside and knocked down a tree with her bare-ankle. Then, to prove that stereotypes are meaningless, she got a B+ on a math test and killed a big hairy spider. Then she did push ups. I don’t know why.
Baby Robot Snowgirl, who thankfully is unaware of gender stereotypes, looked at the bucket and assumed it was a helmet.
Day 16 Rating: -2 out of 10 (Points added because we should be thankful it didn’t come with a Lego Apron and sign that reads, “Voting? Eww!”)