Name: Bad Bike

Powers: The handlebars are covered in sandpaper. The crossbar is a poisonous snake. The front tire is also a snake, and is most likely poisonous. The pedals are on fire. The rear tire is made of glue, impairing mobility. The seat is covered in bird beaks.

Weaknesses: Hills.

Origin: The bike was built to punish kids who forgot to lock up their good bikes.

Rules: Must only be ridden in designated bad bike lanes.

Description: It smells like hair.

Last Seen: Parked outside a Wendy’s in Nebraska.