Time is running out to buy Power Pencils for Christmas! From best friends to grandmas, everyone loves Power Pencils! I’m sorry for shouting, I’m just very proud of Power Pencils! All holiday orders must be in by December 19th!

You can buy an Ostrich pencil!!!

Show me the person who wouldn’t love a pencil that controls ostriches. I dare you. In this time of political unrest, a pencil that controls ostriches is the perfect gift. Click here to learn more about this pencil.

Yesterday’s item wasn’t spectacular, so maybe today will offer something wonderful.

It’s…It’s…

A Snake!

Just a snake. That’s okay. Snakes are cool. Snakes are limbless dragons. Nothing wrong with dragons.

This snake is named Kayla and she used to date Hezzy. Their relationship is awkward. They both want to control the galaxy, but they can’t go more than three minutes without fighting with each other.

HEZZY: You look well.
KAYLA: You too.
HEZZY: Are you still working at that PR firm?
KAYLA: Yeah. We moved offices but it’s the same company. Are you still hanging out in Skull Cave?
HEZZY: For now. The plan is to move to the moon once Earth is mine. But…you know. Baby steps.
KAYLA: Cool. You always had a plan.
HEZZY: What’s that supposed to mean?
KAYLA: It means nothing. It means you always had a plan.
HEZZY: Like, I never act on the plan? Is that it? I just have plans but never act on them?
KAYLA: I’m not doing this.
HEZZY: Tell me about my potential, again. I know you want to.
KAYLA: There’s more to the world than Skull Cave, Hez! Just…just…I told myself I wouldn’t do this.
HEZZY: Why did you make out with Barry in the parking lot?!?
KAYLA: WE WERE JUST TALKING!!!

When things calmed down, Kayla agreed to help Hezzy with his plan. (And they also kissed a little.)

As part of the evil plan, she tried to seduce Jonas Cannoncube, but it didn’t work.

Back to the drawing board…
Day 14 Rating: 2.9 out of 5 (Points deducted for being small and a tad disappointing.)

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