By this time next week, there will be a new Star Wars movie living in our memories. That’s crazy.

We’re just days away…hours, really…minutes, technically…from returning to the Star Wars universe. Since we all know how the internet works, here’s my prediction for fan reaction.

Phase 1: Brag about seeing it. “Just got back from Star Wars! IT WAS INSANE! Here are pictures of me from Star Wars…which is where I just was.”

Phase 2: Love. “This is the greatest thing human beings can accomplish! To see this movie is to gaze upon the face of God and hear her whisper, ‘Yes.'”

Phase 3: Hate. “It wasn’t that great. Watch my 3-hour YouTube video in which I describe every plot hole in the movie as still images appear on the screen.”

Phase 4: Troll. “This is a complete bag of vomit. The effects look terrible. I’m more excited for Captain America: Civil War. That movie is going to be way better than Star Wars.”

Phase 5: Realizing no one cares what you say. “Hey! Did you hear me?! Attention all humans, I have thoughts on Star Wars! Please like, comment and subscribe! Hello?”

Phase 6: Looking to the future. “I bet the next one will suck.”

Phase 7: Politicize it. “THiS movie reAlly prooves that liberals/conservatives is waging WAR against this county. SIgn this peTIitshon to stop things.”

Phase 8: Compare it to soup. “If this movie were a soup, it would be….”

Phase 9: Explain it to Grandma. “No, Grandma. It’s not like E.T..”

Phase 10: Acceptance. “The movie was good.”

So what’s in today’s Lego Calendar? Glad you asked!

It’s the Millennium Falcon!!!!!!

Everyone go home. This is the best thing in the calendar, without question. No need to even open the other doors.

Look at this! Look at it!

The Falcon is the iconic Star Wars vehicle. It’s practically a character, itself.

I’ve always wanted a Millennium Falcon. And now I have one. This is my first Millennium Falcon.

As a kid, my parents were generous enough to give me an X-Wing. And that was great, don’t get me wrong, but all kids knew the best ship was the Falcon. It was a giant plastic plate that captivated imaginations and summoned curiosity the same way laser pointers attract kittens.

Long have I dreamed of owning one. And now it’s here. It’s mine.

However, Stormtroopers hate the Falcon. It’s the one that always gets away. And IG-88 is no fan of it either, since he was sent on a mission to capture the ship.

Seeing it now, these two were overcome with emotions of regret and failure, and they lashed out, while Stickles worshiped it.

“You won’t get away this time!” yelled A.J..

“Kill…Kill…Kill,” said IG-88.

“Oh great robotic pizza, thank ye for the gifts you offer and for reigniting the sun every morning. Praise onto you, mechancical disc,” chanted Stickles.

Meanwhile, Frisco asked if anyone wanted to go for a ride to the store, and maybe they can take this new short cut that just so happens to pass by Theresa’s house.

Day 14 Rating: 4.8 out of 5 (Points deducted because I didn’t get it sooner.)

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