{"id":740,"date":"2011-05-06T12:59:02","date_gmt":"2011-05-06T16:59:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=740"},"modified":"2011-05-06T12:59:02","modified_gmt":"2011-05-06T16:59:02","slug":"parade-magazine-questions-round-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=740","title":{"rendered":"Parade Magazine Questions: Round 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

The humming noise you hear means it\u2019s time once again for me to answer questions sent in to Parade Magazine\u2019s Personality Parade. <\/p>\n

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\nA: <\/strong> What situation are you in that suddenly Kathleen Turner\u2019s acting career needed to be clarified? Are you currently being held captive by a madman who demands you answer bizarre, nightmarish question or else he’ll eat your toes? If so, send another letter to Parade Magazine inquiring about how Hulk Hogan spends his free time. We will save you, Val. Never give up!<\/p>\n

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A:<\/strong> It\u2019s actually a carefully crafted top secret message that gives the \u201cgo code\u201d for an assassination mission in Peru. Your keen eyes caught the cryptic comment. Impressive. Have you thought of working for the government? Here\u2019s another puzzle for you to solve: When it\u2019s raining, umbrellas are useful. <\/p>\n

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A: <\/strong>Yep. Thanks for writing to Parade Magazine. It can be very tricky using the internet to find answers for questions like this. Granted, you would have found the answer even if you typed \u201cPatrik Warrbnit Faml Gyy\u201d or any variation of those letters into any blank space on any webpage, phone screen, or calculator. You could have also whispered your question on the wind and chances are good that the wind would reply, \u201cYes\u2026don\u2019t you have internet?\u201d <\/p>\n

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A:<\/strong> Well he does now, blabbermouth. Thanks for ruining the surprise. Do you know anyone that wants a “You’re Related to Lincoln” cake? Hate to see this one go to waste. (sigh)<\/p>\n

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A: <\/strong>What? There must have been a screw up at the post office. Clearly this letter was meant for a different magazine. That would explain why the recent issue of National Geographic had a letter asking if Taylor Lautner enjoyed soup. <\/p>\n