{"id":628,"date":"2011-03-28T15:18:49","date_gmt":"2011-03-28T19:18:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=628"},"modified":"2011-03-28T15:21:51","modified_gmt":"2011-03-28T19:21:51","slug":"dan-vs-paint-by-numbers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=628","title":{"rendered":"Dan vs. Paint by Numbers"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are two things I can draw well: A triangle and the letter W. No one will ever accuse me of being a great artist because A) Why would you \u201caccuse\u201d someone of that unless you\u2019re trying to solve a murder that was obviously caused by a great artist, and B) Salt shakers are more artistically adept than I am. Luckily, anyone can fake talent by using a Paint by Numbers kit. (Available at any store that smells pathetic.) With nothing better to do this weekend, I attempted one of these projects. <\/p>\n

According to the box, this is how the final painting should look. <\/p>\n

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I made a few, slight alterations to give the work deeper meaning. Click below to view my masterpiece. <\/p>\n

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You\u2019ll notice I darkened the clouds to give the piece an intense feeling of sexuality and remorse. <\/p>\n

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The man being crushed to death by the tentacle represents modern society\u2019s struggle with identity. <\/p>\n

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The man shooting the Sea Beast with a rifle represents fertility.<\/p>\n

If you own a museum and would like to show my work, please return my phone calls. <\/p>\n