{"id":595,"date":"2011-02-23T00:50:30","date_gmt":"2011-02-23T05:50:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=595"},"modified":"2011-02-23T01:08:59","modified_gmt":"2011-02-23T06:08:59","slug":"i-will-melt-your-brain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=595","title":{"rendered":"I Will Melt Your Brain"},"content":{"rendered":"

Warning: If you continue reading, you will die from confusion. <\/p>\n

Note: I am not a philosopher or astrophysicist, and it stands to reason that the concept described below has been fully explored in more elegant terms by people much smarter than I.<\/p>\n

Still with me? Here is why I can\u2019t sleep tonight:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

For the sake of argument, time travel is a real thing. A person can hop into a time machine (that looks like an egg) and travel back and forth through time. Let us then examine the following situation involving Peter and Lisa-Barbie, two average people who have noses. <\/p>\n

And, for simplicity\u2019s sake, let us shorten our time frame to a single week, Sunday to Saturday. With me so far? Really? Pop quiz! What is the girl\u2019s name? (Hint: It\u2019s not Peaches.)<\/p>\n

SUNDAY<\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

On Sunday afternoon, Peter goes fishing by himself because he\u2019s a very boring person. Lisa-Barbie is at home doing terrible things to her feet. Suddenly, a time machine plops down outside of Lisa-Barbie\u2019s house. Lisa-Barbie doesn\u2019t hear it because her ears are filled with very small rocks. In this scenario, Lisa-Barbie will never have any idea that time travel is real.<\/p>\n

Peter (from the future) hops out of the time machine carrying a bowling ball, and barges into Lisa-Babie\u2019s house where he finds Lisa-Barbie doing horrible things to her feet. They have the following conversation.<\/p>\n

LISA-BARBIE: <\/strong>Dude!
\nPETER:<\/strong> Hi, Lisa-Barbie. Take this bowling ball. Keep it for a few days. On Wednesday, I want you to give me this bowling ball. When you do this, I will act as if I have no idea what you\u2019re talking about. Don\u2019t worry. Do you understand?
\nLISA-BARBIE:<\/strong> On Wednesday, you want me to give you back the bowling ball. And you will act as if you don\u2019t know why. I understand.
\nPETER:<\/strong> [Hands Lisa-Barbie the bowling ball] Goodbye. <\/p>\n

Future Peter leaves Lisa-Barbie\u2019s house and hops back into the time machine, traveling to Saturday (his present). Meanwhile, the present day (Sunday) Peter is still fishing because he is a boring man, and has no idea that Future Peter visited Lisa-Barbie. <\/p>\n

MONDAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Lisa-Barbie has the bowling ball. Nothing much happens. <\/p>\n

TUESDAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Nothing happens.<\/p>\n

WEDNESDAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Lisa-Barbie lugs the bowling ball to school and hands it to Peter. They have the following conversation.
\n
\nLISA-BARBIE:<\/strong> Here\u2019s your stupid bowling ball.
\nPETER:<\/strong> What are you talking about?
\nLISA-BARBIE:<\/strong> Just take it.<\/p>\n

Confused, Peter takes the bowling ball.<\/p>\n

THURSDAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Peter has the bowling ball. <\/p>\n

FRIDAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Nothing happens. Lisa-Barbie eats a sandwich.<\/p>\n

SATURDAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Peter discovers time travel while playing with his navel and invents a time machine. Taking the bowling ball with him, he travels back in time to Sunday, the same Sunday we discussed above. Remember? Sunday Peter is fishing, because he is a boring man, and Saturday Peter from the future barges into Lisa-Barbie\u2019s house, gives her the bowling ball and the instructions to give him back the bowling on Wednesday, and then leaves. <\/p>\n

He hops into the time machine and travels to the future (his present), arriving on Saturday afternoon, one second after he had left to go back in time to Sunday. <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Peter then lives the rest of his life bowling-ball-free. <\/p>\n

Questions.<\/strong>
\n1.\tWho made the bowling ball? Where did it come from?<\/p>\n

2.\tWhat if the bowling ball were a puppy? Who are the puppy\u2019s parents? Would that puppy grow up in this time circle, eventually becoming a dog? When it died, what would happen? Would Lisa-Barbie and Peter act differently in a time circle that contained a living thing?<\/p>\n

3.\tWhat if instead of a puppy, it was a human baby? Could that baby learn inside the time circle?<\/p>\n

4. If pickles could talk, would they demand to be called something more impressive than “pickles”?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not looking for religious answers. This isn\u2019t about God (or the Giant Forever Turtle) creating the universe. This is just a fun paradox that has been the cause of my insomnia for about two hours. And now it\u2019s in your brain, and shall never leave. Enjoy and good night. <\/p>\n