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<\/a><\/p>\nStar Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi<\/p>\n
The galaxy is a mess. It\u2019s a mess. It\u2019s an all the way mess. The First Order has begun preparations on a new planet-sized weapon called The Kill Cannon. Meanwhile, the Resistance is very sad most of the time despite the fact that they have cool spaceships and laser guns. It\u2019s like…what more do you want?<\/p>\n
Anyway, Rey has handed the lightsaber to Luke, and Luke gave her a cryptic frown as if he tasted beer for the first time in front of cool guys and doesn\u2019t want them to know he thinks it tastes bad. <\/p>\n
Rey and Luke then talked for a bit. Luke asked, \u201cDid you see my robot hand?\u201d And Rey didn\u2019t seem that interested. And Luke said, \u201cWant me to build you one?\u201d And Rey said her hands were fine, and that pissed Luke off for some reason. And he made her do all these chores for no real reason! <\/p>\n
Meanwhile, Poe found the missing locket that, when placed inside The Kill Cannon\u2019s engine core, will make everything go BLAST-O! And Finn\u2019s okay, but…well, you\u2019ll see. <\/p>\n
So now sit back and get ready! Because here comes the first part of the movie! There\u2019s going to be a whooshing shot of spaceships! Oh, and Lando\u2019s in this one! Don\u2019t tell anyone. It\u2019s a secret. This part of the song is the best…duh, duh, duh daaah! DAH! Duuuh! DAAAAH!<\/p>\n
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