{"id":2086,"date":"2012-12-24T11:39:31","date_gmt":"2012-12-24T16:39:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=2086"},"modified":"2012-12-24T11:39:31","modified_gmt":"2012-12-24T16:39:31","slug":"lego-calendar-day-24-the-grand-finale","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=2086","title":{"rendered":"Lego Calendar: Day 24! The Grand Finale!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It\u2019s the last day of the Lego Friends Advent Calendar and I couldn\u2019t be happier. Not only does today mean the calendar will now die a forgettable death and we can move on to happier things, but today my chances of finally getting a Lego Mrs. Claus have never been higher.<\/p>\n

The 24th Day of the Lego Calendars always bring forth Santa Claus! Always! Since this calendar is lady-specific, it would be an absolute delight if Mrs. Claus came galloping out to give us all the Christmas Spirit and a cookie!<\/p>\n

Yep. Today is going to be good. I can feel it. I can taste the Christmas-y goodness!<\/p>\n

Click on to see the last item and the final countdown of all the items!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s….WHAT!!<\/p>\n

Ladies, Gentlemen, and every child in the world: There is no Santa Claus.<\/p>\n

A severed head and some potions<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what Christmas is all about?<\/p>\n

This is the lesson of the Lego Friends Advent Crap-Box.<\/p>\n

Also, there is no Sassy Florida. Though this desk could turn someone into Sassy Florida.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a beauty desk of some sort. And it\u2019s sad. Even calling it a Severed Head w\/ Potions isn\u2019t making me happy. (Well, maybe a little.)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Nintendo was disappointed. Annie-Ann loved it. She then tried to pass herself off as Sassy Florida, hoping to get all those presents. But it didn\u2019t work because her Dutch accent seemed forced.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Baby Robot Snowgirl thought the severed head was her new sister and started to freak out. Nintendo had to explain things. Baby Robot Snowgirl then tried on a new wig.<\/p>\n

So we got some new hair, but since Nintendo looks quite lovely in her Top Hat, there is now extra hair. Who should wear it?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

YAY!<\/p>\n

There is a Santa!<\/p>\n

He\u2019s naked, he\u2019s two years old, and he\u2019s scary!<\/p>\n

HI NAKED SHOWER SANTA!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Day 24 Rating:<\/strong> 5 out of 10 (Points added because it’s weird; points deducted because there are Rabbis who are more Christmas-y than this.) <\/p>\n

Now let\u2019s recap the crap. In order of worst to almost worst, here are the 24 items in the Lego Friends Advent Calendar.<\/p>\n

24. The Purse<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I sent this back to the hell from whence it came.<\/p>\n

23. Mop and Bucket<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It taught me that women love to clean. PINK!<\/p>\n

22. Chair w\/ Plate<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This is the gift you\u2019d give a pen pal who somehow wronged you.<\/p>\n

21. Dog Present<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I still don\u2019t know what the hell that dog paw thing is meant to represent, besides disappointment.<\/p>\n

20. Skis<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Writing this countdown is making me angry all over, again.<\/p>\n

19. Blue Present<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Who is \u201cSassy Florida?\u201d<\/p>\n

18.Green Present<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Almost as bad as the blue present. Almost.<\/p>\n

17. Bag of Crap<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

They\u2019re easy to lose and taste horrible.<\/p>\n

16. Table and Chair<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Want to come over and play with the table? Of course you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

15. Blue Sled<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

No thank you.<\/p>\n

14. Milk and Meatloaf<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The milk is great, but everything else about this screams, \u201cEh…who cares what kids get for Christmas. Let\u2019s go see Argo<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n

13. Dog Bed<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At least I got to build something.<\/p>\n

12. Pinks Snowmobile<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At least it wasn\u2019t a bucket.<\/p>\n

11. Helicopter the Dog<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

He\u2019s adorable, but should have came with more stuff. I still love you, Helicopter!<\/p>\n

10. Severed Head w\/ Potions<\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Made better thanks to a twisted mind. Made worse because Santa is nowhere to be found.<\/p>\n

9. Christmas Forest<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I had to use every gram of my imagination meat to make this enjoyable.<\/p>\n

8. Green Sled w\/ Lattice Cut Side<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Love that lattice and not afraid to admit it.<\/p>\n

7. Christmas Tree<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s lovely and made lovelier thanks to the Cosmic Starfish on top. He will keep us safe!<\/p>\n

6. Fireplace\/Hover Ship<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Made better after modification.<\/p>\n

5. Annie-Ann<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Batman needs his Joker, and Nintendo needs her Annie-Ann.<\/p>\n

4. Mailbox<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This is how every item should be – creative, quirky, unexpected, and hinged.<\/p>\n

3. Nintendo<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I admire her because she hates the calendar as much as I do.<\/p>\n

2. Christmas Street Light<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nStare at this and you will be transported to Christmas Land!<\/p>\n

1. Baby Robot Snowgirl<\/a><\/strong>
\n\"\"<\/a>
\nShe\u2019s the only thing that got me through this calendar. Thank you, BRS. Thank you.<\/p>\n

Happy Holidays!<\/p>\n

Go eat pie.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n