{"id":1739,"date":"2012-02-05T19:41:36","date_gmt":"2012-02-06T00:41:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=1739"},"modified":"2012-02-05T19:43:58","modified_gmt":"2012-02-06T00:43:58","slug":"the-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=1739","title":{"rendered":"The Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Rules<\/strong>
\nBy Dan Bergstein <\/em><\/p>\n

Ninja beats pirate. Pirate beats ghost.
\nGhost beats zombie. Zombie beats most.
\nWerewolf beats vampire. Vamp beats Imp.
\nImp beats fiend. Fiend beats wimp.
\nWizard beats cyrborg. Cyborg surely beats troll.
\nTroll beats goblin. Goblin eats a hermit’s soul.
\nHermit beats child. Child beats wagon.
\nWagon beats moon snake. Moon snake beats dragon.
\nDragon beats hydra. Hydra beats sailor.
\nSailor beats teacher. Teacher beats tailor.
\nTailor beats sun worm. Sun worm beats clown.
\nClown beats robo-squid. Robo-squid beats town. <\/p>\n

Town fights jackals. Town will win.
\nTown fights mummies. Town won\u2019t fight again.<\/p>\n

Zookeeper beats hell hound. Hell hound beats giant.
\nGiant beats accountant. Accountant beats client.
\nClient beats frog. Frog beats himself.
\nKnight beats Big Foot. Big Foot beats elf.
\nElf beats pixie. Pixie beats specter.
\nSpecter beats sea hag. Sea hag beats Hector.
\nHector beats serpent. Serpent beats rat.
\nRat beats Grandma. Grandma beats cat.
\nLava beats demon. Demon beats warlock.
\nWarlock beats dinosaur. Dino beats Spock.
\nSpock beats Lando. Lando beats Qui-Gon.
\nQui-Gon beats Jar-Jar. Jar-Jar beats none.<\/p>\n

Rock beats scissors. Scissors beat paper.
\nPaper beats insect. Insect beats vapor.
\nWood Woman beats Tree Man. Tree Man beats the dark.
\nThe dark kills spider-fish. Spider-fish beats shark.
\nYou beat me. I beat a dentist.
\nThe dentist beats the barber. The barber is menaced.
\nThese are the rules, and never forget.
\nNow hand over your money and place your bet. <\/p>\n