{"id":1000,"date":"2011-07-01T21:25:42","date_gmt":"2011-07-02T01:25:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=1000"},"modified":"2011-07-01T21:28:55","modified_gmt":"2011-07-02T01:28:55","slug":"monster-of-the-day-33-fire-jerks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=1000","title":{"rendered":"Monster of the Day #33: Fire Jerks"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Monster33.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Monster33-1024x799.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"499\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-1002\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Monster33-1024x799.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Monster33-300x234.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Name<\/strong>: Fire Jerks<\/p>\n<p><strong>Powers<\/strong>: They can extend an organic, bio-luminescent stalk from their head which looks and sounds like a firework. It even shoots out sparks. Humans are distracted by this faux-firework as the monster attacks. The monster eats the victim&#8217;s legs first to prolong the agony and because brains are considered dessert in their culture. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Weaknesses<\/strong>: Daylight, lava, pitchforks, regular forks, winter, cannonballs (the dive), cannonballs (the metal spheres). <\/p>\n<p><strong>Origin<\/strong>: They were created by scientists trying to brew synthetic milk. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Rules<\/strong>: They can&#8217;t talk, but they can sing. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Description<\/strong>: They still collect Beanie Babies.  <\/p>\n<p>Happy Fourth of July! <\/p>\n<iframe src=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/like.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.laserfarm.com%2F%3Fp%3D1000&amp;layout=standard&amp;show_faces=true&amp;width=450&amp;action=like&amp;colorscheme=light&amp;height=80\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" style=\"border:none; overflow:hidden; width:450px; height:80px;\" allowTransparency=\"true\"><\/iframe>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Name: Fire Jerks Powers: They can extend an organic, bio-luminescent stalk from their head which looks and sounds like a firework. It even shoots out sparks. Humans are distracted by this faux-firework as the monster attacks. The monster eats the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/?p=1000\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-monster"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1000"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1006,"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000\/revisions\/1006"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.laserfarm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}