What did we learn?
1. Playmobil is fun.
2. Lego is also fun.
3. I like cheese.
4. The Playmobil calendar is light on characters, heavy on swords.
5. Birds shouldn’t date snakes.
Overall, I liked this calendar. Underall, I think I’ll go back to Lego next year.
What is the final item in Playmobil Pirate Advent Calendar?
A CLEAR GHOST PIRATE!
That’s the best!
I love clear pieces. I love characters. A clear character? That’s the middle of the Venn Diagram entitled “Cool Advent Pieces Dan Enjoys.”
His name is Bert. Don’t think that’s a scary, ghost pirate name? His nickname is “Smash-Fang.” And his last name is Bloodly. Yep…full name: Bert “Smash-Fang” Bloodly.
As if you’re not already jealous of my Christmas desk so far, today gets even better.
Bert can fit atop the glowing blue electric crystal. And the mystic light flows through him and his translucent skin! BEHOLD!
HEZZY: Hello, sir. My name is Hezekiah. This is my friend Kayla. We pretty much run this island. And with your help, we can run the galaxy. I have a plan —
KAYLA: Hi! [giggle] I’m Kayla. What’s your Snapchat?
HEZZY: Um. So yeah. All we need for my plan to work is 70 walnuts, a magic key, plutonium and enough butterflies to choke a hippo. If you look at my Google Doc, you can see the plan in detail. I think we should —
KAYLA: I like your coat. Where did you get it? You probably don’t want to follow me on Instagram. I basically just post selfies of me at the beach. It’s totally dumb.
KAYLA: What are you doing New Year’s Eve, Mr. Pirate? You should come to my party! You have to come! Promise you’ll come!
HEZZY: Kay, don’t do this. Don’t do this on Christmas Eve.
KAYLA: Maybe I wouldn’t “do this” if you didn’t introduce me as your “friend.”
HEZZY: You’re being ridiculous! This glowing ghost shows up and with his death-power we can finally move forward with the plan and you’re here talking about Instagram and parties and —
KAYLA: I made out with Barry at the karate tournament!
HEZZY: I KNEW IT!
KAYLA: And it was amazing!
HEZZY: I’m breaking up with you!
KAYLA: What?! Why?! It’s Christmas!
Things got heated. Jonas showed up and wanted to fight. Everyone was tense and angry.
Luckily, Robot Snowman stepped in and shared the true meaning of Christmas by saying, “And in the manager was born a child. And the wise men took him and trained him in magic. And in 18 years that boy returned and freed the pilgrims from the South. And to stop enemies from entering our homes, we plug the chimneys with toys. And chimney is Latin for ‘grandpa tunnel.’ And that’s the story of the eighth Christmas.”
Day 24 Rating: 9 out of 5. (Points added because if I don’t, I will be cursed, hexed and harmed by ghost Bert.)
This calendar is great, but one thing remains a mystery: The Hole.
Jonas showed Bert the hole. Bert didn’t seem to care because Bert is made of ghost juice and demon smoke.
Hezzy tried to impress everyone by pretending to know what the hole was for. (He just poked his beak through. No one was impressed.)
I enjoyed this calendar very much. The last two days made up for some of the weaker items. Can you really be disapointed with lighted crystals and evil ghosts? If you are, then this isn’t the blog series for you.
Merry Christmas, everyone!!!
Love you. Mean it.
And don’t forget to buy yourself some Power Pencils with all that sweet, sweet Christmas cash flooding your wallet.