Today is Taylor Swift’s birthday. I know this because I just looked up celebrity birthdays hoping to find some inspiration or subject matter for this intro.

Happy birthday, Taylor Swift. You are a singer and you’re tall. That’s about all I know about you. Keep up the work.

Today’s item is something new, yet familiar.

Can you guess what it is? I’ll just tell you: It’s another cop.

Actually, it’s a Police Chief. He comes with two walkie-talkies so you know he’s in charge. He also comes with two identical hats, so you know he’s fashion challenged.

I shall name him: Police Chief Oliver “Pops” Smith.

Pops is all about business. There is no time for goofing off. He’ll sleep when he’s dead.

Of course, he spends most of the day yelling at Officer Champ Gutpunch. Gutpunch is a maverick. You can’t chain that bird, Pops!

The town of Barbaria now has two police officers, one prison, a House Elf, and a stone-hearted vigilante. At first I thought this town would be overflowing with crime. Now I worry that it has too many heroes…

Day 13 Rating: 2.8 out of 4 (Points deducted because I don’t always agree with Pop’s by-the-book approach to justice.)