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2017 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 4

I had to go to Target yesterday and buy a strand of lights for my Christmas tree. (Never buy a pre-lit Christmas tree. I did and now, ten years later, I have a tree with a full strand of dead lights that are woven and welded and fused with the tree in such a manner that it would take Dumbledore and the Infinity Gauntlet working in tandem to separate the lights from the tree.)

Purchasing lights at Target should have been easy, but thanks to shopping carts it turned into a nine-hour battle. These wheeled road blocks made navigating the aisles impossible. I was trapped in the corridors of commerce and if I stopped to weep, I would hear the hungry roar of the Minotaur as it hunted in its labyrinth made not of stone but reasonably-priced merchandise! Or maybe I was just cranky.

I understand the need for shopping carts, but it’s a common courtesy to park your cart along the side of the aisle. If you leave your cart in the middle of the aisle, perpendicular to the walls, then yes, I will toss a raw egg into your cart. And what can you do about that? Call the police? Ha!

Today the Lego calendar coughs up… Continue reading 2017 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 4

2015 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 17

YodaDanSee that photo? That’s me in my Yoda shirt. It doesn’t fit anymore or else I’d wear it to The Force Awakens.

I hope to see the movie Sunday. The plan is that my girlfriend and I will head over to the theater on Saturday, to see what the ticket situation is like. I figure tonight is sold out, and it’s probably sold out Friday and Saturday too, but I hope we have a shot to see it Sunday afternoon.

I guess that means I’m old. SHUT UP!

I don’t understand why everyone if falling over themselves to post reviews of the movie. The movie is review-proof. I also remember that when The Phantom Menace was released, the first reviews were generally positive. While we all know that movie is terrible in ways best described as a flavor, and that flavor is stale tomato soup, at first everyone liked it. I think we were Star Wars drunk. And that’s probably happening now, too.

It takes a while for a true opinion of a Star Wars movie to sink in. You have to let it live in your mind for a month or two.

These early reviews, which seem generally positive, don’t mean a thing.

But we have more important things to discuss — today’s Lego item, which is… Continue reading 2015 Lego Advent Calendar: Day 17

Blogging Twilight Life and Death: Part Twenty-Two

Twi 22Chapter Twenty-Two: Hide-And-Seek
Better Title: Archie-Nemesis

Happy Cyber Monday! Have you seen what wonderful things I have for sale?

Check out the list of good stuff!

Holiday Signs In Frame

The Jetpack Werewolf ornament sold out rather quickly. For details on the (slight) possibility that more can be made, click here.

Power Pencils are the perfect present!

But enough about that, it’s Twilight time!

This book is (slowly) coming to a close and that gives us time to reflect on why this book exists. The gender-swap idea isn’t paying off in any real or interesting way. It’s more of an Instagram filter than a thought-provoking study on society.

Case in point: In this chapter, after escaping from Archie and Jessamine, Beau takes a cab to his house. In the original book, the cab driver was a man. In this version…she’s a woman! Continue reading Blogging Twilight Life and Death: Part Twenty-Two

Lego Advent Calendar: Day 24 – The Grand Finale!

It’s here! It’s here! The last day of the Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar!

Even if today’s item is just a few pieces of Lego coal, I’d consider this year’s calendar a success. I’ll have the full rundown of the items (in order from worst to best) at the end of this article.

Enough talk.

Who is coming down that black chimney?
Continue reading Lego Advent Calendar: Day 24 – The Grand Finale!

Lego Advent Calendar: Day 23

Yesterday at approximately 5:17 p.m., the Christmas Shoes song erupted from the speakers of my car radio and clawed its way into my brain and soul.

I was so close to celebrating an entire holiday season without hearing that awful song.

I failed.

Next year. There’s always next year. *sigh* *hiccup*

This is the penultimate day of the Lego calendar. It all ends tomorrow. Today’s item better be great, because I could use a pick-me-up.

Today’s item is…
Continue reading Lego Advent Calendar: Day 23

Lego Advent Calendar: Day 22

If you lack the Christmas Spirit this year, or if you just enjoy wonderful things, I demand you watch the Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special, available for streaming on Netflix. It’s a thing of insane beauty, much like Naked Shower Santa.

Watch it. Or just stand outside my window today, because I’ll probably be watching it again while I wrap presents.

Pee-Wee Herman, along with He-Man, Star Wars, and Construx, was a major circle in the Venn Diagram of Lil’ Dan Bergstein. Paul Reubens and the team that made Pee-Wee’s Playhouse were geniuses and I’m a better person for their existence.

I could write thousands of words about Pee-Wee Herman, but today’s Lego item is such a wonderful bit of weirdness we need to see it…NOW!

Today’s item is…
Continue reading Lego Advent Calendar: Day 22

Lego Advent Calendar: Day 21

Happy (almost) first day of Winter! On this darkest day of the year, it’s important to turn on your holiday lights to reminds us that even in darkness, there is light. And I have extra light!

Yes, I put color and white lights on my Christmas tree. I know this is illegal amongst decor enthusiasts, but I like it. It looks fun and it’s extremely bright.

The color lights twinkle, chase, flash, fade, and perform other typical light shows. Of course I set the lights to “combination” which means they cycle through the various twinkle options. You ever know what you’ll see when you look at my tree.

One time I looked at it, and the lights formed a constellation that spelled out “PiAno BuTts,” and that’s how I know there’s a Santa or ghosts.

My tree is good.

Today’s Lego item is…
Continue reading Lego Advent Calendar: Day 21

Lego Advent Calendar: Day 19

It’s a good news/bad news day.

First the bad news: A villain used my credit card number and stole my identity and I spent the morning on the phone with the bank trying to figure out what happened. I’m getting a new card, but it won’t arrive for a few days. It’s not like I need to buy anything during these precious few hours before Christmas.

Good news: I still haven’t heard the Christmas Shoes song! I’m feeling good about this. Can I make it just five more days? Every day, the tension builds. Part of me wants to hear it, just to get the pain over with. I must be strong, though. I must carry on. YOU WON’T GET ME THIS YEAR, CHRISTMAS SHOES!

But the best news of the day, so far, is what lived behind door 19 of the Lego Advent Calendar.
Continue reading Lego Advent Calendar: Day 19